SO, WE HAVE food carts named Built to Grill and Fried Egg I'm in Love. Apparently they're both delicious—I have no idea, because every time I drive by one of them I yell "SHUT UP!" as loud as I can. You've already got a FOOD CART in PORTLAND, now you're going to name it after a band that Nick Hornby would use to make a character seem quirky and interesting? Sew a fucking Pixies patch over your mouth and die, I used to think.
Slowly, though, I'm learning that my deep-seated distrust of all things "cool" just comes from a desire to seem even cooler than those "cool" things, and that isn't cool, Karmel. They're just fucking food carts. They want to make you a sandwich and you're angry about the name? Sew a Pixies patch over your own mouth, you cynical dufus. I'm past that. You want to name your food cart after a band you like? Fucking do it. In fact, here's a list of food carts that I'd like to see open.
• Ariel Pink's Haunted Panini
• Bite It You Scone (this would be a G.G. Allin-themed food cart, please nobody eat here)
• Godspeed You! Blackened Cajun Chicken
• Seabass Palaces
• Poi Division
• Say It Ain't Soup (Weezer and gazpacho, together at last)
• Sunny Day Really Steak
• Pho-ck the Pho-lice (for the annoying AND acceptable ways to pronounce pho!)
• BLT Soundsystem
• Portugal. The Cuisine
• Modest Mouth (tapas)
• Blitzen Cracker
• Julian Quesadillas
• PB on the Kaiser-Roll
• Kendrick Lamarshmallows
•...And You Will Know Us by the Trailmix of Dead
• El Condor Pasta
• Yusuf Is-Salami (formerly Fat Stevens)
• Roxy Foodcart
• Siouxsie and the Banh Mis
• Baohaus (this one probably exists)
• Hamspire Weekend (all right, this one is a stretch, but you'd eat somewhere that had a hamspire.)
• Titus Andronicouscous
• Japancakes
• Radiobread (specialty: OK Compumpernickel)
And finally...
• Shish Kabob Seger and the Silver Buffet Naan
Yo, if you open any of these, I get free food.