Portland as Fuck 

White

portland-as-fuck-maggy.jpg

PORTLAND IS SO WHITE.

Portland is so fucking white.

Portland is so fucking white I hate it.

Portland is so white and I call it "Hillsburrito"—you know, ironically.

Portland is so white and I turn my rap music down when I drive by a black guy.

Portland is so white and the waterfront is gross during the Rose Festival.

Portland is so white and Chinatown is a fucking mess during weekends.

Portland is so white and I've never been to Gresham but I joke about Gresham.

Portland is so white and have you ever been to Pok Pok?

Portland is so white and I complain about how weird the bus is.

Portland is so white but I know this Chinese place that's full of Chinese people.

Portland is so white and the only 12 black people here play for the Blazers.

Portland is so white and have you seen the Hung Far Low sign?

Portland is so white and you can't get a decent burrito here.

Portland is so white and sometimes I talk about it with my black friend.

Portland is so white and I call him my black friend.

Portland is so white, I wish I could find a black friend!

Portland is so white and I love those feather earrings.

Portland is so white and the Mercury only writes about white music.

Portland is so white that all we make is white music.

Portland is so white that I think white music is a thing.

Portland is so white, what the fuck is Vanport?

Portland is so white, I won't live past 82nd.

Portland is so white, but at least it isn't Lake No-Negro!

Portland is so white and now that I'm single maybe I'll try to fuck a black girl.

Or an Asian.

Or a Mexican.

Or someone from the Middle East.

Portland is so white and I love that color in your skin, it's so refreshing.

Portland is so white all of our Buddhists are 60-year-old white women with military buzz cuts.

Portland is so fucking white.

Portland is so white.

Portland is so white and I'm white.

I'm white.

Portland isn't anything.

Readers also liked…

Speaking of Portland, white

Comments (37)

Showing 1-37 of 37

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-37 of 37

Comments are closed.

People who saved…

From the Archives

More by Ian Karmel

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy