READER'S VALENTINES 

Nobody loves love like the Mercury. And to prove it, we've started an annual tradition: We let YOU write a special, one-of-a-kind valentine to your heart-throb, and we print it for the whole wide world to see! And even better, it's absolutely FREE, 'cause we love you and because we know you love love as much as we love love.

Now, on the off-chance you forgot to mail in your valentine, there's still hope! Below you will find a special fill-in-the-blank Mercury valentine. Simply write your loved one's particulars in the spaces provided, and voila! You are out of the dog house and in the casa de l'amour!

So happy Valentine's Day, Mercury readers! And remember, we love you good, and we love you long, long time.

Great big platonic Valentines to Private Universe, from Lil Softee. (Don't kick my ass!)

Dear RABBIT, You are very important to me. Also, you have many fine physical attributes: arms, ass, lips, many more. I am always thinking of you.-DOG FACE

dearest portland, i love you so much and want to be with you forever. soon i will be your portlandia...happiness for you and me.*miss. mai*

David- i like you. i like kissing on you too. more please. screeching biter monkey

dear pup, i'd like to be under the sea, in an octopuses garden with you. xoxo the bunny princess

Boobah: 6 years together, and now a bun in the oven. Crazy, man. I love you so much. Be my valentine? P

Long Sharp Sword, Thanks for still laughing at the Eddie Van Halan jokes. You're pretty fucking cool. Love you. Pig Pen.

Kelly, Portland would be a living hell if you didn't make it so heavenly. We may miss Bellingham but I'm so glad we have each other. I love you sweetie. Mike

Nathan, I love you more with each passing day. You are a beautiful, intelligent, extremely talented person, and I feel like the luckiest girl on earth to have you. Sarah

Christina, I was born the day we said, "I do." Love is real, advertising is not. Remember love. Randy

Facilities Dudes-Yeah, ya big gorillas. Happy Freakin' Valentines to every munged-up one of you, from the wench who gets your coffee, takes your crap, and loves you dearly. APL

"To JOELIE-I will always love you. I like you even more than I like to eat. And that's a lot! From, Formerly Known As Your Little Furnace." Thanks!

TO SHUVANI, FROM DOGSOUP, HAPPY V-DAY TO MY LITTLE FLESH EATING TURTLE FROM YOUR JELLYBEAN ENEMA

"HEY DARDN, You're far out! Happy Valentines Day, you hot pocket! " -F.G.P.

Joey, My best friend, who I love as big as the sky. Happy that we found each other. I absolutely adore you!!! Ingy

Happy Valentine's day, lovey! My lovemuffin, my furrball, my sweetest of peas, so pleased with yourself and your foofy locks, your lickable KUMQUAT, your sweet, soft, supple and succulent BUTTOXXX!

Luscious Lynne, We met under the mistletoe twenty years ago and I still love your sweet kisses. Be my valentine for twenty more? Love you, heart and soul. Rojence.

Watta Guchi, Ya Ya. Chrissy, you're a nerd, you're a pele, You look hot in my he-man sweatshirt, and when my lip heals, IT'S ON! I'm in love, Alex.

To Ian-You are my one true love and best friend. I love you with all my heart. Viva DM! I love you! Kaya.

Happy V-Day Tower Records 168: Dave; Lynn; Mark; Allen; Christopher; Lisa; Lani; Ruby; Tyson; Lashawn; Michelle; Dan; Glen; Joe; Jeph; Asher; John; Jessica; Brian; Brian; Joey; Todd; Stephanie; Eric; Joe; Jason & Rusty! Lv, Lizzie

Laura, I love you! Thank you for agreeing to marry me this year, Happy Valentines Day (Tater Tot loves you too) Paul

i want to kill or throw up on people like us. I'll meet you at the department store dressing room in my thigh highs, short skirt, no underwear.

Skip. Have you seen my imaginary BEAU-friend? He's smart, adorable, has a stylishly, geeky haircut and the magic of Ricky Shroeder. I wanna drink with him. Heart, Steve.

Dear Slackajewa, Even Slacky McSlackerdom never slacked like your little slacks can slack. You slack me all night long, slacky. KD

Dear DJ Jazzy Jeff, Even without the comet you put the "ass" in my Jassmond, B

Your long, tan shaft moves up and down and across my back. I gasp with pleasure then smile as I look at you and the backscratcher you gave me for Christmas. I love you Rachel!

Caramia- Yr the best girlfriend a boy could

ever

have! I love you more than anything (really) and that makes me happy. Whatever happens dollface, remember the Alamo. Love Scottie

My Dearest Lumpy, Since our first V-day in the cemetery I associate headstones with love. Be mine for another 5 years? Marry me graveside again? Your ducky daredevil, Puddin'

Your beauty is illuminated from the reference desk at FVRL. Please allow me to bathe in that, which is called your beauty. James

Baby, I can hardly wait for my next taste of your thug passion. Thanks for always keeping it real, whatever that means. Baby boo

Shave your head? Of course, I will, for a price. My daddy said it was fine with him, so just leave it down next time. Love, the princess

Daddy, My slave-boy-present has brought me much pleasure-let me show my gratitude, again! Your pick next time, Love, your princess

D, For every muddy print, An unexpected kiss, For every dirty dish, A heart felt "you're the best" Why do I put up with you? Because you fill my world with love. Yours always, Jacqueline

"Be Mine Forever" Starring Max Steel and Kitty Candeaux. A hot, steamy never ending love story. Rated XXX and Gilly.

Jeff...You are so cool...You are so cool...You're so cool...You are so cool...You are sooo cool...I love you...My Sweeting...Love,D.

Hey there Tiger! It's time to pounce. I need help putting on my tattoo-death-remember? If you want adventure find me. I promise you will NOT get burned. Happy V-Day. Sincerely, One steamy, fire-breathing Dragon.

You in the Grinch hat and soccer shoes-Saw you in line at the bank on Tues-Then later at PSU-Meet me at NH364 at 8:30pm T/Th??? Bess McNamara

dearest number twelve, we'll have a time. love, blueberry pancakes

Bob, Your love is sweeter than chocolate and more intoxicating than a field of roses. Thanks for your heart, from the bottom of mine. I love you, Meathead

Emily-I know you don't celebrate Valentine's Day, but I wanted to do something. Unfortunately, I am out of town, so I have to tell you in print. I love you. Alex

Dear JLM, Finally my Rock has come back to Portland! I still don't believe it. I love you with every ounce of my being. Happy Valentine's Day. Love, RDS

Delia, You're my moon, my stars and my sun. I knew the moment i laid my eye's on you, that you were the one!!!! Happy Valentine's Day-Your Loving Husband, jeff

Amanda I don't know if we were made for each other, but I can't think of anyone else who I'd rather be with. I love you so much. Mark

Kimmy-Bear, Hut slut, Girl on Fast wheels: You are the kindest, most generous and most genuine person I have ever encountered. Thank you for scraping this piece of shit off the street and making him whole again. I will love you forever. Phil

Our love, like a bicycle race. First thrill of the wind, the push, damn those hills, sweat and frustration, the incomparable rush, the assurance of "always knowing how" to ride. Eddie

You are Apollo to my Artemis, the Salt to my Pepa, Dulcinea to my Don Quixote. You're my Muse and my talisman. It won't be long, Luv. Marilyn

Pooh Bear, I still love you like a loon and I'm saving all my honey for you! So let's have a picnic soon, Flower Bottom

Katrina, I love you because you smell good. Because you're a demon in the sack. Because you take care of me. Because of the Snake. Kisses, from Abbey

Dearest Robbin, Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're the love of my life, You know i love you, You set my soul on fire, Love always Dave

To: Sindy From: Tiger. I worship your physical being, I love your frenzied mind. Together our hearts dance on fire, Forever our souls entwined. Today I tell the world, You're my secret valentine.

To my Orion, Still searching for big enough spatula. Thank you for allowing fate to draw you to me. Kitten

Grey Squirrel to red squirrel, who still smells like pine. So happy for 'always' and Valentine's Nichi, tucked in the ca-cun of love

My Dearest Nels, I may be a stinky bed hog, but there's always room for you in my queen size heart!! Love you always, Senator Humpy butt!

Tyler, I can't believe my luck. I love you. Kyle

SHANA-YES OR NO? YES! YES! YES! MY LOVE FOR YOU I MUST CONFESS! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

To the bass player of Bier Gut: You ROCK! Let's take a ROLL in the hay sometime. Love, your number one fan.

KC...the open road is closing in and i cant say where it ends and you begin, every truckstop dive's another four years off your life and the sky begins to fall on everything you've liked at all...i know. you know. TS

Rich, What an emotional roller coaster ride you've put me on. I've never been so angry with someone I've liked so much! So, would you be my valentine? Patricia

Chris: You are the whip on my mocha, The alfredo on my noodles, The fleece on my blanket, And the battery in my sex toy, I love you, Sarah

glitter bunny rose white my faery love you make me melt plus grrrls do it better anyways cover you with 1000 kisses the only real kitten rose red

Jen, the sensuous Mediterranean, rustic breads, pungent herbs, and hearty wine, now scenting and flavoring excited kisses with purple-stained mouths, ecstatic romance and full love

Garland, my love...Sweetest sugar sugar, summit's crystal dove...I'd gladly pick your booger, Union of grace...with a "lust for life", anytime or place...I'm glad you're my wife!

TIP-you drive me crazy! meet me tonight and let me show you. Love LHM

Manticore I love you a whole lot, you are my tuxedo kamen. Yes, Daeghrefn my one and only Astroman, j'adore toi from your Pink Angel and Pixie, too

O Fenris! When you dangle toothily from my lips I know that I am trooly king. Be my Mrs. Butterworth, baby; I'll be yer big steamin' waffle! -Booker

Alissa, There is beauty and grace in the Universe, and It calls your heart Home. I will love you forever. Paul

Jason, I love doing nothing with you. TLA, Rachel P.S. I'm falling in love with you.

Cheryl, From every second that I spend with you I draw more content for my already overflowing happiness reservoir. I need only to think of you, and I dispense smiles. Love, Rachel

Kate, Here's your Valentine's message, babe. Thirty *thousand* words couldn't express my feelings. All I can say is that I love you. It's that simple.(Hope you're touched!)Love, Robert

I have a great lover named Tom, Whose technique is truly "da bomb"; To warn of the jolt, He calls himself Bolt, And he's never yet proven it wrong! (And some bolts are thrown by his tongue...)

hey cutie chica! Can't wait to snuggle with you this Valentines and more..You are the bestes girlfriend ever. Happy Valentines Day Michelle love, Lolo

Why ya gotta be so hot? Can you and darling and me all be valentines?

If L is for Love V is for Valentine.

Baby!Baby!Baby! Remember swimming at Manzanita? The Clackamas River Getaway? Elk River Ranch Rides? Downhill at Keystone? Miss you. Love You.

Roses are red. Violets are blue, I'll lick your backdoor and the frontdoor too. Love Tim

To my simple satyr: Your dark elegance stops my tongue, I am engaged. Bun Bun Bun

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to eat your sushi while you play my kazoo. Love, your slave Tim

To my sexy Rexy-You make my heart laugh and my legs quiver. Everyday with you is the best day of my life. Thank you for your love and the naked jiggly dance you do in my robe-With love always and a day Your loving baby wife.

I worship your physical being, I love your frenzied mind. Together our hearts dance on fire, Forever our souls entwined. Today I tell the world, You're my secret valentine.

Crazy Tim, The one I call, My Pretty Elf. You are a pyromaniac, right? Why don't we unite and create a vast measure of pyrotechnics?-The Fallen Angel

Spence...I don't know what I'd do without you. Laughing or smiling or being myself wouldn't be as easy as it is when I'm around you. PLEASE be my valentine!!...Cassie

Pete Sweet Pete, Fond memories of your tender gentle love provide the perseverance during the lonesome days we're separated. Truly, madly, deeply, I love you. Happy Valentines Day. David

Dearest Robbin Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your the love of my life, You know i love you. You set my soul on fire. Love always, Dave

sarah v.- you are the true love of my life, the keeper of my heart, and the sweetpea of my soul. happy valentines day... I LOVE YOU--forever.

robert- we were lonely together last v-day; now we have so much more. we fight like banshees and fuck like bunnies but you are still my best friend. love kate

Liz is a tiger, she runs through the forest, watchout all mices, I love the way the sun shines on your eyes. You make my life wonderfull. Pietro

To any lonely punk boys reading this happy valentine's day! There are women who appreciate you!

Daniel, Happy Valentine's Day.I want you to know you are loved, cared about and appreciated aside from being devilishly handsome! LOVE AMY.

To Ian- You are my one true love and best friend. I love you with all my heart. Viva DM! I love you! -Kaya.

Agent 31, you're swell! Will you be my secret valentine? Je t'aime beaucoup. -Agent 21

To my slut-girl from her pony-boy: I'm crazy about your kiss, baby; runs right thru me. Makes me wanna f*ck and f*ck. Your's forever, I LOVE YOU.

Rita, All of me wants all of you. D.

T-don't act like you didn't expect a Valentine from me--you know you're hot! Thanks for everything. V.

To Maya, My feline love in SE. Your stripes and whiskers bring to mind our stolen moments of purr filled passion. I will return to you. Eternally, Ming.

Mou Liubimui Schmuel, ya tebya liublio beznadezhno. Tvoe cerdzoe, Maya.

Dearest Andree: Quack Quack! You're my twin star, my love, my best friend, and oh how I cherish waking up next to you. I adorest and lovest thou always, Mark

TO MY POKEMON MASTER: You make every piece of mail I sort worthwhile. Here's to another happy year together--I love you, baby. xo, emily

Icky, That mischievous smile, and conspiratorial laugh of yours make me want to grab you by the ears and jump on. Let's go do something bad! Trashy. Your 007 GIRL.......

Your hands navigate my body like a man with a mission, Your devanair ways "shake" and "stir" my desirable body. Sweet kisses, strong holds. ooooooooh.....James H.V.D

My dear Kerry, You feed my fire everyday!! I truly love you!! Always, Tim O.

Angel Darling, Thanks for chocolate frosties, twenty second kisses, twenty years of love. Wanna do the crossword puzzle? Grab ahold of the guard rail, granny Crazy for you. Yours forever, Pussy Boy.

BUNNY-we fell so quick and I am glad that J was right-your head on my pillow, my heart unfurled, the sixer can wait. billy.

CLAIRE-the hottie of Paola's, you enchant me when you wrestle those mats, and those languid looks of promise from your bed-exquisite. Sanding our way to heaven, starting now.

Sugar, my heart is yours. I'm the happiest girl in town-cupcake xxxxxxxxoooooooooxxxx

Pamela, I loved you yesterday, I will love you today, I will love you tomorrow and every day to follow, to the end of time, please be mine, Russell

Waiting for superman on the 405 to scenic pastures. Talkin' shit bout pretty sunset under sad stars. Blew my mind Satan with your easy Camel walk. Little Rabbit.

Resplendant one, everybody says there's other fish in the sea, I'll get over it, how happy I'll be. But they're just fireflies compared to the sun you are to me.

Hey Tiger, I'm ready for you to rip me wide open. I'm weak with desire, craving your kiss. Can't wait until the future is ours. Be mine now and every year, I'm yours forever.

Darling Sugar Monkey, I would crawl 3,039 miles for a sloppy kiss from prehensile lips. Now, I use two knives to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Yours, Lilah

O Andrew at (WII) work, Eye candy is such a perk, Are you single and straight? Won't you ask me on a date? -from B.M.

Dear Damon, Could you please tell me that "knock, knock" joke that I like so much? ;) I "RoaRf" you

for: The Girl. If you can trust my hands against you, I will make you bloom in a way that even orchids will envy, as your petals arch delicately into the fragrant air.

To Lance, You Are the Best, Buy me nice underwear Love, teaselicious. Thank you!

FOR MY BABYDOLL, YOU ARE MY LOVER AS WELL AS MY BEST FRIEND. I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN TO BE WITHOUT YOU. FOREVER YOURS, GAR-BEAR

Mrs. Thumb's red, tonsils bright blue. Today, of course from Freddie, there's lovely thorns too. Visions of bake sales, the Rear-Admiral's flush. Thank you George, from Ollie, for refraining from mush.

Diesel girl I like the way you work it. Open toed shoes all winter long, Palm trees & designer tube tops. Now that's a valentine. Happy Valentine's Day.

Jennifer You are my love, my best friend, and my partner for life. I am the luckiest man in the whole world to have you. your love, Michael

Doug: There's just no arguing about it, dagnabit! You're the Sweetie! Love, me and the girls.

To Big Daddy Z, You're the one for me. Even Sugar and Joey love only thee. xoxo, fuck you -nat

I have never, ever been licked like that before, Meowface.

Randy: You still owe me thirty dollars. Love always and bumpin' to Keith Sweat, Conaqua

Regie, I mean Regie!! God I'm so sorry. Love, Conaqua.

Kisses brought us together-23 of them. My pigtails kept us faithful. Cannon Beach hot tubs kept us warm. Homemade miso soup kept us healthy. LILYV.

Little Betten, I have the new Sade, but I'm missing two other things! I can't wait to kiss you on the Brooklyn Brigde. I love you, Lonna

EL TORO here is a dork-ass valentine. thanks for keeping my head spinning and the butterflies in my stomach on fire. te quiero-bashful kitten

Matt. My V-Day wish? To be captured, snared and caught up once again in the "pagentry of the evening." You still rock!

tms. i was thinking...your physical size is way pleasing to me! thanks for rocking my world. rlw.

Lindo Distante-Dont ever let them break you baby: remember why we're here...

Patrick- I have a crush on the cutest Beastie Boy. Thank God we met because you've got more flavors than fruit striped gum.

Nicole, you are the sexiest, cutest, smartest, and most totally HOT girl in the whole world!!! BE MY VALENTINE YOU SEXPOT!

You still make me squiggly thinking about your crinkly eyes and the light tongue touch and the razorburn and squeeze and everything, everything, everything! I want you. Oh yeah, Pomegranates!

hey daddy, be my baby, let's be nasty, let's be bad, let's be fast, before you're too pregnant for rowdy sex, love, your alcoholic bipolar girlfriend

Turtle, I love you more every day. You are the best part of my life. You'll always find my big arms open for you to come home to. Gorilla

Kaliedescope Woman : You make all my bells and whistles go ring-a-ding-ding, non-stop and steady. I'm crazy about you baby. Your little cross-eyed crazy girl.

To my gulp. You rock ass sweet heart! You're the best friend that I have ever had, and you should know that I love you more than anything.

Haiku for J: toe gently teases/my crotch/playful secret smile/ tempting juicy love

To my sexy, sexy, sexy bubbas. I love you soooo much. You are the greatest person to ever come into my life. Happy Valentines Day!

Jason -Happy valentine, my rubber love. The sight of your bound, quivering, anticipating form -- music to my life.- Squirm

To: MEM. From: NAB. If you ask if it was meant to be, I love all your silly ways, even through our roughest days. But most of all I love your looks, your style I love it best when you smile. Faithfully yours XOXO Always, Love NAB.

Andrew: with hands rough and heart soft, you are my lover. Thank you for standing by me through these transitions. Looking forward to our lives together. Ti amore bene.

one potato, come mash with me! your hopping pony, two potato honey leaves, steam the tongue, after, the symphony, waters their bare elaborate language

Jojo Dancer- I want your hot heavin' bod. You make me want to get all up in 'dat. Be mine Viz-alintine -C.W.

IX Wander alone; bering the Light and thy Staff. And be the Light so bright that no man seeth thee. Be not moved by aught without or within: keep Silence in all ways. I love you Hermie...forever I am yours, XIV-Temperance

To: "you," Who forever elude me. you may have past me already in this life but as of yet have not stopped to end the wait. if my eyes ever looked familiar to you, what never dies is why. grab me next time, please don't walk by.- x Ophelia x

Baby, I've missed you so. Now you're flying 6000 miles just to spend some time. I hope you really know how much you mean to me. Gretchen, be my Valentine.

Hannah, I've had one of the best months of my life with you, almost two. I just want you to know how much you mean to me. I'll never forget you, my love. Mary

I want to tell you how much I love you being in my life and how wonderful it is to love you! Happy Valentine's Day! From M'Ary

graham cracker~~you have lips like sugar, sugar kisses the sweetness on you, like the dew on a honeysuckle, i want to taste and the saltiness quenches my thirst. don't worry--it is cosmic...it is magic it is fucking hot, you naughty boy. love, your m & m & m

Alex, I remember...the first time you kissed me, the first time you kissed me upside-down, and the first time you wouldn't kiss me. I still love you. Ray

TO: RM17- Too bad, dude, that I am no intellectual challenge for you. Inspired by our love for GG, I paint my vision on your window; for you to scrape off with a razor blade. FROM: The SelfLover

TO: JKS- Seeking 30ish, bored, homeowner for heavy rutting and possible relationship. If the pants fit-take 'em off and jump me! FROM: Hussy Girl

TO: JIM P- Who's the Safeway Club card holdin' white brother with the ass of the black man? Jakibo! That's who! I love you. ML

TO: Baby AssPony- Rosebud's are red, slapped asses are blue, to my buttsex lovin' buddy, here's a kiss from Rocco to you! Love, Tina Manure

TO: Mellie Mel- Hey Slore, I love you, stud-stalker! Hut

lackeyms45: just wanted the world to know, how special you mean to me. my world wouldn't be complete with out your love and kindness! love'n you. green korn, smurf'in usa.

To My Valentine; Thank you Buns Mahoney, For another great year of not being alone-e. I love you dearly, and thats no baloney.

It's been almost a year now; Pikachu and Crater Lake, Thirsty Thursday and ketchup chips, Sabonis and the Four Horsemen... Can't wait for the next year. I love you, kid.

Man in Black: Life ain't always fair to us, But we got lucky on the bus 6 foot 5 and lookin' fine, I wanna be your Valentine Luv, Red

Your sexy body puts me to the test, Katherina, with You I've been blessed. When on the road only for You I pine, Will you be my Valentine? Love, P

SUNDAY BRUNCH POSSE...old, new, and current members, I love you all...happy valentines day! loves and kisses, Miss M

Jeremy, my Angel, I love you with all my heart! I'll always be there in the morning. Becky

Sweet southern sky love of mine, your eyes look green in the rain, your flowing hair inspires the wind, your immaculate beauty in the face of winter is a quintessential sin...

James, It's true! You are da shit! The biggest sweetheart and the best pork roaster on the planet. I'm not being delusional either. Someday, Feng Shui will agree! Bud

Yhi, ye FreQ of trades, rebirthed through smoke and fire, Music lives on in Tranzgression potential is our prize possession, passion burns-- it cannot fade we will continue 2 Konspire

ALEX, you're still my favorite person in the world, best friend and the best thing that ever happened to me. JAH loves you and Christy too! Honey bunches.

Spanky, I am blessed with having you not only being my wife, but my best friend. I love you deeply and look forward to spending the rest of my life with you. Your Cutie.

Dear Lover, You are the man I want, and the only man I want. I am all for you. AER

J.C. lovergirl --You encourage my inner hedonist... Pleasure is better when TWO are toking-- but you're still on fire when the smoke clears. Let us burn together!--COMMANDER SEX (KY 4ever)

Dearest Ruby, I think the answer to your problems is in between my legs. Remember, I unicorn rainbow you baby...

Lerve, Slim: "Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict." -Channing. Love, "Jar" Best, -J

To my beautiful Autum Rose: I love you from your toes, to your cute little nose, I love you from your Spanish ass, to your articulate sass. I love my Autum Rose.

Mrs. H, I love you because you are adorable, bouncy, cute, dreamy, exciting, foxy, gorgeous, hot, imaginative, juicy, kinky, luscious, mushy, nutty, orgasmic, perky, quirky, real, sweet, talented, uninhibited, vivacious, wonderful, exhilarating, yummy and zesty.

Chaz, your are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey, you'll never know how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away. Love ya. Vicki

EEP, I love you forever, BEEP

cire...i love you...elocin

Oh, how my heart wishes, you hadn't been just a lasquinha! -Eggman

I'M AMAZED TO FIND MYSELF STARING AT SUCH A BEAUTIFUL VIEW. IT'S THE ONE YOU MAKE WITH YOUR VOICE, YOUR FACE, ALL OF YOU. CAITLIN YOU'RE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL VIEW!

Mi para siempre muneca, Elizabeth, de cada bit del amor en mi alma es suyo amor y lo pierdo tragicamente.lo hace es mi esposa? Los Valentinos felices.Siempre su bebe, Michael.

Merrily, Marilee, Life is but a dream. Love Always and Forever. Me.

Dear Snowballer, Do you want to have hot hobo sex in the bushes with me sometime? I promise it will be ham-slammerific! P.S. I have two sleeping bags that zip together! Hot Carl.

To Edward, Our lust is my religion. Your body is my place of worship. You are sacred ground. I kneel, I kiss, I pray. Fearlessly, Stacy.

Miss Alex, Scented, swollen, pink & fleshy. Shiver, quiver, writhe and spasm, scratch me spank me, tie me up, be my valentine. Love Duncan.

JEFF- I just wanted to say that you mean the world to me. Thank you for all the little things you do. I love you to the moon!-TAZ

My Sexy Sweetie Joey, I love you more then you will ever know. My lover, my friend, the best part of my day, You bring me joy in so many ways.

Chelsea, I remind my self how lucky I am to have you in my life, You will always have a special place in my heart. Andy

To Monkey Dork: "Baby, you are so much more than well read, lets geek out the whole day in bed. Day long leisure, a pleasure dipped seizure.

To Alexis: "Lover, lover. You are sugar covered. Can I have a lick?" From Eric

Dearest Darling Donkey, you are my one true honkey miss you every day you are such a good lay, Happy 2 years in a week less a day. love Mandaboo.

Thor, When I was searching for my lost popsicle stick, you found it. I love you more than Battlestar Galactica. Tonaya

Dearest Jessica, You mean the world to me. Thank you for showing me the beauty that you have to offer. I love you with all my heart. Your's Truly, Brando

Bad Boy T-Roy McCoy, I love you baby. Happy Vagina Day! You never cease to amaze me. Love, L.A. Face With an Oakland Booty

Matt, Thanks for putting sunshine in my life every day, beautiful! You're as sweet as Tupelo honey baby. I love you.

Laura Dreaming constant of you, Sensing how you haunt, Hoping you want, how I heed, complaining I need, no thoughts exist above you, Christopher you know I love you! love Roofus

Your lips are like chocolate,Your eyes are the bomb, I've loved you forever. You make me break into song "M....saved the day...hurray!"

To Our Favorite Action Figure CYDK, You know who we mean, we love you! Hunky Chunky Baby Boy and his Mom.

Yo, SD! I love kissing your lips, I love rubbing your feets, I love wigglin' and jigglin' in between our sheets. Your booty baby, Hump-Daddy

MollyJones- You are the coolest. You are so good to me. I am so PROUD of you and love you for all that you are. XXOO -bulldawg.

To my Snickerdoodle Poompkin, I love you and miss you very much. I can't wait to see you on Valentines Day. ~ Your lover

"Life is like a tree. When a strong wind blows, the tree must sway or be torn from its roots" ~Chief Joseph

Twiglet, There is a fierce fire that burns with the hottest passions in our tawdry loins. Let me rescue you from the bawdiest depths of your tiny boudoir! Love, Higgins

Baby Tarantula, Will you be the cause of my dancing mania as we cross the gaps in our memories in a gondola of malevolence? Love, Wee Harry Potter

MATADOR Dani, Pat, and Laura, Thank you. Much love, Sunday Brunchers

Mr J, Happy Valentines Day! XOXO~Miss M

Beauty Queen, Apple Dumplin' Cakes, will you marry me? Seriously. Spaghetti dinner, red wine, and you on the luckiest night of my life. Together forever...promise. Love, Nonephus.

To all the boys I've loved before, especially Vince Vaughn: roses are red, violets are blue, how bout' we boogie down, just me and you. Smooches on Valentines Day! ~Nestle

You are my favorite Claire-bear. I love you more than I love cookies. Or custard. But not as much as rice pudding. (Jeez! Just kidding! Even more than rice pudding, too.) ~Trina

Dear Szah Szah, Delight me with your kisses, Stoke my fire burning HOT, Swirl your luscious Cupid's arrow 'round, My dripping honey pot! I Love You, Baby! Lustfully Yours, Becka

glitter magik and marshallow stars. you make me drool and tingle honey-honey. i love you more than david bowie and angelina AND helga! twinkle w/ me always

Habi, Wednesday, you brighten my day, i love you so much more, than words can say, you are the best kids, a mama could have be nice to your dad.

my golden cockhorse lover, let's ride this wild ecstacy forever panting, forever warm. trust this bud into bloom, flower into fruits ripe with want. This little duckling's heart is yours.

Jenny: Full woman, flesh apple, hot moon, thick smell of seaweed and perfume, what lies under tangling vines? Like the door to a secret tunnel toward the Snoopy of the world! Love, Marco

sweet beguiling calico Everyday swatting CDs like -analogy- your cunning feline wiles have locked my heart in a vault to which there is only one key...be my valentine

To My Sweet girl, The secret word is Violet. Call Me and tell Me the secret word and you will have a wonderful valentines suprise tonight. Love always... your DaddyB

Dear Cheryl, I love you more than I thought I could ever possibly love another. Thank you for being my partner, friend, lover, Cilla, split-o-part, my everything+. Love, Beth

to my soulmate raphael: go heart-hurt with adversity, and let my man thy wounds see! and tell him this, as i tell thee: farewell my joy, and welcome pain until i see my love again! happy valentines day baby. i'll miss you - i love you forever. love, touche' smoochie smoochie . . .

D'Amore, Wishing you love and wisdom on this Valentine's Day. Always and Forever, We Love You, Mom & Dad

Tigger, Butches are soft, butches are tender. I hope I get to keep, my butch forever. I love you, Mouse

Marcus, You're aces, ponyboy. Megan

Dear Ronnie, Our love is like a diamond, shining 'til the end. You'll always be my husband, and forever my best friend. Love Portia

Jacob, Wishing you a happy Valentine's Day! I shall forget, to have thee still stand there, Remembering how I love thy company.--Guess Who...-Me

to my darling freckled boy -- you'll have to borrow my latin book for this: amor, meus optimus, nascor, uiuo, bibo, morior, in te, delicium

Katie!!! I love you Katie....happy happy happy, Daonald, I love you too. love, Clair

Hey wannabe lumberjack -- generous giver of chapstick lids and animal crackers and amazing kisses. You are so fucking cool, you have me deliriously happy. Love, your aspiring frothy bitch.

to: Kate & Holly from: Bethany. Roses are red, violets are blue I can't make up anything good But happy Valentine's anyway.

Dave, I love you! Let's be pirates together. We'll wear argyle socks. I'll have a monkey and you can wear an eyepatch. Lots of booty guaranteed! Bethany

Nate from Alaska. When its late we whisper your secret name. Find us now?

Michelle, I could have told you so long ago, but my words would not rhyme...that you are always in my heart, and will you be my Valentine? Scott

My Precious Wendy, I'm happy knowing, You've captured my heart for keeps, Our beautiful life together awaits. With Love, Reverence, Passion, and Gratitude, Your Leonard

hey boogerbear, i want to kiss el umbligo. then i want to buy you "betty and veronica" comix and other assorted exotic things. then i want to eat you. love, wolf

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Yer my cum-daddy And I'm sticking with you.

witch baby-ill be your angel juan. you be my secret agent lover man, and we will glitter together.

sing, June, after all these years a sudden gale, your seeds lodging deep within my soil, growing green within me, I love every true, real, complex, glorious moment with you.

Kurt from Revels: I am completely smitten with you. When I met you after the Dec. 9th show, my heart was beating like mad. Remember me? Find me. -Anna

This note of affection for my neighbor friend: When I had no direction, you brought me bread, I'm eternally thankful for your loving words, And equally thankful for watching the birds I'm reaching the end of my words and bad rhyme, So...Happy Valentine's Day, JAMES!

ooooooooo la la sweet sunshine licking, szah szah creature, how i wish to take you to the dark side of the moon, to the cool side of mercury and the sweet side of a sweet tart. read this and know your always in my thoughts, my heart and my pants...when reading this don't forget the french accent, it is lost without the french accent !!!!!!

Lorraine, i love you babe. keep up the pee on the feet thing you do so well. pure adoration, h.h. hippo

stella- you are so ted danson it hurts.

Hey gorgeous....Your scientific skills have me melting in adoration. I can't stop thinking about you, though I don't even know you. How about that rollerskating?

Moop-to-the-Moop, I want nothing more than your love and affection you are beautiful!

lonely hearts club-you got diamonds on your ass, bling bling! our meetings are in order, and membership is a privelege. te quiero, my sweets, on this loneliest of days...

Kiki- Hey Sweetness, I can't get enough of your ever-loving goodness. You're the best damn Svenska Fleka I done know. Sparkle on with your beauty. You mine. -KBOS

To Marc From Dwight, In the orchard and rose garden I long to see your face. In the taste of Sweetness I long to kiss your lips. In the shadows of passion I long for your love.

kaci- you're so hot, movie star! i want to get it on with you and all the kboo interns!

Happy Valentine's Day, my love! It's been a wonderful first year of marriage! I love you! MS

My Dearest Fox: I fall asleep with you in my heart, dream all night of you in my arms, and wake with you on my mind. I am blessed and thrilled to have you in my life. I love you! Forever, your Princess

baby, you can be in front, i have A/C, or you can be on top, so i can ____ those big chichis. whoa, whoa, whoa. happy valentine's day. love jt

Leslie. I love you with all my heart. You are the love of my life. You are my QUEEN. Stacey

Last year a month in cuba, this year your name and the pronouncement of my love for you in the Mercury! Happy Valentine's Day Michele, Love Mike

Tough Girl-You'll find your first clue under your pillow. Happy scavengering. See you at the end. PB

jon - we said, no regrets, as we frolicked in our dream world. since returning to reality, what a burden it's been, wanting to be next to you again. always dreaming of you, your dahlia.

Nigel, After four years your kisses still make me melt! I love you...Happy V-Day! xoxo

SHASHA Hope you're not lonely, many people fill your heart on Valentine's Day. Love, Nige

Saschabird A Valentine's Day hope for you. A wish and a kiss. Always be true! luv, amy

CASSIE !CASSIE! CASSIE!: roses are red, violetz are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are y...uh i forget..anyway, happy Shmalintinez Day..you're swell!..eat me...jeremy

OOO babee with your broky bookshelf! Luv me til the end of the big big world! N'sir fucksalots sign of. Me drunky drunky.

Oh Patrick! Baby Pony is still so smitten.....Now would you please get in the car? Yeay!!!

Gretchen... sorry about the lesbian porn. Will you be my valentine? I love you, M.

shmab, every time i breath i think of you, if i were to stop thinking of you i would want to stop breathing as well. i love you. me

bethus-oh yah your pretty good looking for a girl. love j

BOOGERS MALONE I love you so much, I say God Damn, God Damn,God Damn! Thank you for being the love of my life. Always yours, CHEETA McCLOSKEY

Peter Weiner - I just wanted to say I love you so much I could fucking puke! So take that and like it you dirty rat! Love - Stacie

William - The only presents I want is yours! ysssss -B

Benjamin--as much as rice and chopsticks have anything to do with anything--i love you.

Plymouth Sport Satellite, I love your incredible horsepower, tough shocks, trustworthy battery, sparkling exterior, and, of course, the way you guzzle fuel! Take me for a ride! XXXO, Lucky Girl

PFS girl, you've always been there, you know what's in my head. i love your quirky ways we'll get through it all together kahlua me now! love you, p-indahaus

Mr. Engfuuurstien, your cute and fuzzy and funny and i love you! love,carly

to michael: i don't want to see you anymore. love, theresa

Happy V-Day Motorbike. Remember, someone loves you.

I heart Ron, who makes me laugh and pisses me off more than anyone, who knows me better than anyone and loves me anyway. Viva la Mullet! Shelley

Snuggle Bear, You are the best. I love you and your hot ass. Liz

Yhi, ye FreQ of trades rebirthed through smoke and fire, Music lives on in Tranzgression, potential is our prize possession, passion burns-- it cannot fade, we will continue 2 Konspire

My love grows. K8 and that pesky elected official Peter Courtney must not find out about this! I will contact you soon. Be true,my love.-Jerky

cloud angel, you have reached my heart through thin air. there is a light when i hold you in my arms. thankful and true to you in every way, j.

you are the perfect drug. i eyeliner you.

i can't breathe every time you walk in a room. i will always be around to remind you what your favourite food is. i love you wild child kitten grrrl

you are the cutest bartender. ever. i want to kiss you with wax lips. sweet valentine.

Oh my Bottle, how I miss thy cold glass on my lips , when your not around, I shake and cry for your warmth, your comfort, and your understanding. your all that makes sense to me in a world gone mad. Forever yours, otto

PHILLYFOX LET ME KISS YOUR EYES SHUT, WHILE YOU MAKE ME SCREAM, I'M A SLUT, YOU'RE A DREAM, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU LOVE BAD POETRY KIMMYBEAR

binkitbaby--narf! hockey and food and best friends, oh my! stay in my life forever, please, whether we do or we don't. i love you the most.

Sarah -- sex-pot swinging social working babe. Dance around our living room anyday! Glad to be sharing space with you and the crew --Rob

Christannia--you don't even need a valentine from a housemate, we all know you've got enough boys around to keep you supplied...-Rob

Hey chicken with his head back on, I'm glad we're hanging out...regardless of anything, I think you rock.-Scab-boy

Leslie, this is aaron and I really really love you. happy valentines day!

Momma Laurel and Momma Katie--can you tell that cute boy Rob to hang out more? I miss him. I love you both-Dodi

oso, my beautiful trumpeter of the yawp: i love you more than airports AND train stations. i think it's time for another dada vacation. paris? detroit? always, bear no. 2

Rebecca, 1st grade teaching star.... we love you!

There is no one I'd rather wake up next to than you. Never having been to France, I nonetheless assure you that I sleep there every night. Bobita

Honey Bunny,...And baby makes three! I am so lucky I found you. I will love you forever and always. Will you be my Valentine? Hugs and Kisses, Pumpkin Nut

michael, roses are red, violets are blue, it's been way too long since i've licked your mess off of you! vallory

Happy Birthday Mike!! Can't wait for you to tie me up!! Love Always, Raishawn

Nialah, You are the Love of my life. You always seemed to know, what I was feeling even, when I never told you, I couldn't ask God for more, Andrew

Thom, I recite Edward Scissor Hands to you by heart while you sing that stupid song, if you ever change i'll die. you are the reason i get up in the morning after not sleeping at night. i adore you. Ever inspired, Jodi

Jacob from QFC, maybe you'll read this and remember me, years have past. you used to smile at me in line, i hope your life is perfect. Happy Valentines. -that girl.

Danenger-The chocolate polar bear really hit the spot. Thank you, and happy one year anniversary.

For Jessica, my red haired friend: you are beautiful. zen zens

Oh, I Love you so much fatty fatso! YOU ARE THE BEST...now hurry up and get a divorce!!! xoxo your one bean taco

Valerie, my Tigerlily, You are my best friend in the entire universe you are also the sexiest and most arousing woman on this earth. I will always ravish you.-Christopher

sweetest auggie i cant wait for our new times in portland. i cant wait to be the obsessive and hankalisciously obscene caller on yer new telephone number.

Portland Rock Mafia: big hugs to all the kids, buttery lords, bathtub full of sharks, so sadly fucked, this, trophywife and don't forget to stop starting bands. love, babypowderfresh

Bernadette: Forever's gonna start tonight. Forever's gonna start... love, B

Stuart, you are a Pornstar! Happy V-Day. To my "husband" Pete, always remember our kitchen wedding. Jimmy, Jason, Pat, Darrin, and everyone else. I love you guys too. Love Crystal

DEAR DR. RED, The only time I am happier than when you have your big pink tongue deep in my ass is when I have MY tongue buried in your sweet little pink rose. 88 forever . I love you truly madly deeply, TODD

FUCK YOU WORLD! i HATE YOU! Love, Travis.

picnic, from bubbles to bowling, valium getdowns, to graceland, deaf strippers to luaus, you can still get away with shooting sparks and i love you for that. your monkey.

Suavecito, I have been swept off my feet by your latin love machine. If we could just fix the cocina problem!! Aye, pappy, te amo. Sho'ty Angel

I think this fortune cookie likes you, it says "Hot for Gator". What do you mean it's my fortune? Oh.

Ariell: I'm really not mad that you'll be reading this before me like always! Happy V-Day -JJG

pooh pants, you are the tooth in my eye, the one that bites delicious foods,and shines the brightest in an ugly smile, dont get rotten(lub u)

VEGAS- Your mother's always saying I should use restraint, but I'd like to talk to you about our sleeping arrangements. You know you send me. XXOO, SHIMMAH

SEA RANGER, I love you from your amazingly foxy head down to your hairy hobbit feet. There's nobody like you, baby! Love, The Coolest Bitch on Campus.

Beautiful blue eyed boy!! Oh how i want to boing you, even as you read this. I love you stallion!! jamie, marley too!

pooh bear happy valentines day please be only mine for ever. will you marry me. so you can have the sweet spot "plump and waiting" love woolly bear

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