Am I an Artificial Life Form?

With the astounding advances in animation, and the upcoming release of tearful boy-droid epic AI, it's not surprising that so many people are considering the possibility that they, themselves, might be artificial life forms. How would you know? What if reality were a complex computer generation and everything you are and everything you hoped to be was just part of a final project turned in by a lonely MIT engineering major? Or, worse yet, a Disney imagineer. Don't panic. There are signs to look for. Want to know if you are what you think you are? Take this simple true/false quiz and find out! Good luck!


T F I can do math in my head

T F I speak with an English accent

T F Sometimes when I fall I see stars and bluebirds

T F I feel inexplicably superior to the people around me

T F I have perfect pitch

T F I am sexually aroused by aluminum

T F I am excellent at chess

T F Once I burned my ear off with a curling iron, and the ear grew back

T F My favorite movie is Blade Runner

T F My favorite movie is Blade Runner--The Director's Cut

T F I can type 5048 words a minute

T F I can crush a tennis ball with one hand

T F I have never felt entirely "anatomically correct"

T F When I leap I hang in the air a minute before falling

T F Sometimes I morph into molten metal

T F I call George Lucas "daddy"

T F My irises are yellow

T F I have 43 of those little robotic dogs

T F I need to have my oil changed every three years

T F I prefer synthetic fibers to cotton

T F I chirp and whistle when children come into the room

Did you circle "true" for ten or more of the above? You may be a replicant/robot/android/cartoon character or other animated/computerized being. We suggest that you seek guidance from your creator or corporate parent. A lawsuit may be in order. Artificial life forms get along well with household appliances, children, and Steven Spielberg. They should avoid rain, aliens, and trash compactors. If you think you may be an artificial life form, seek warranty information immediately.