Analysis for People on the Go

Am I the Second Coming?

Well, it's the holiday season, a time of year when many of us can't help but reflect on the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus H. Christ. As we do, it is completely normal for us to search our own lives for clues of heavenly influence and divine powers. Is the new Messiah among us? And if so, are you he? Take this easy true/false quiz and find out. Good luck and God Bless!

T F I have used the pick-up line "Hey, Baby, I am The Way."

T F I can walk on water.

T F I have always suspected that I might be adopted.

T F I have noticed that I can cure leprosy.

T F I am partial to those big, Technicolor, biblical epics starring Charlton Heston.

T F I hear voices.

T F I have been described as "selfless."

T F I still have this frankincense, gold, and myrrh some guys gave me when I was a kid.

T F I can control people with my mind.

T F My mother still claims to be a virgin.

T F The Pope keeps calling.

T F I think I like red wine more than I should.

T F I am worshiped by my friends.

T F Sometimes I feel that my fate is out of my hands.

T F I get nervous around Romans.

T F Easter is my favorite holiday.

T F I surround myself with the meek and disease-ridden.

T F My name is Benicio Del Toro.

Did you answer "true" to ten or more of the above? You might be the new Messiah! Messiahs generally live lives of suffering, followed by generations of posthumous worship and adulation. They often die young. Messiahs get along well with apostles and mental patients. If you think you might be the Second Coming of Christ, we suggest that you keep it to yourself.


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