Self-Hell 

Analysis for People on the Go

Do I Have SARS?

Feeling a little under the weather? Throat a little scratchy? SWEET JESUS, YOU PROBABLY HAVE SUDDEN ACUTE RESPIRATORY SYNDROME (SARS)! There is NO CURE. It's SWEEPING the globe. People are DYING. You had better take this true/false quiz STAT. It just might save your life. Good luck!

T F I've recently shared a malted with a SARS victim.

T F I have a cough.

T F I am experiencing shortness of breath.

T F I would describe my breathing as "difficult."

T F I have a temperature of 100.5 degrees or more.

T F I have recently traveled to China, Singapore, or Hanoi, Vietnam.

T F I know someone who has recently traveled to China, Singapore, or Hanoi, Vietnam.

T F I have always wanted to travel to China, Singapore or Hanoi, Vietnam.

T F I once saw a movie that took place in Singapore.

T F I have carelessly visited a public place since February 1.

T F I am a flight attendant and have not been wearing a respiratory mask.

T F I have recently touched a doorknob, elevator button, or public toilet seat.

T F I have a vague feeling that I might be coming down with something.

T F I have recently read a newspaper story about SARS.

T F I have not been responsible about using anti-bacterial wipes.

T F I have been previously diagnosed with scarlet fever, polio, and tuberculosis.

T F I do not have health insurance.

Did you answer true to ten or more of the above? God help you; you have SARS. Contact the Center for Disease Control and Prevention immediately and try not to lick anyone else's toothbrush. People with SARS get along well with people who do not have SARS but are experiencing SARS-like symptoms. They do not get along well with hypochondriacs (who get jealous).

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