2 GUNS has some things going for it. Here's Denzel Washington in action-hero mode as undercover DEA officer Bobby Trench, and Mark Wahlberg in funny-dopey sidekick mode as Michael Stigman, a naval intelligence officer, also undercover. Edward James Olmos deliciously slums his way through a role as a Mexican drug kingpin named Papi, and Bill "Knuckles" Paxton shows up in a few scenes making crazy eyes. There are some cool car chases, a bunch of shooting, a bank robbery, and plenty of quipping. This is all 100 percent fine.
But for a B movie that revels in being empty-headed, 2 Guns still comes up a little empty-handed. Even the title smacks of laziness, but it's the absolutely ludicrous plot that hobbles what could have been a fun, thoughtless, chewy genre exercise. Trench and Stigman, each unaware that the other is undercover, decide to rob a bank together—they've determined Papi's got a three-million-dollar rainy day fund stashed away in a sleepy small-town bank. Once they crack the vault, though, they find 43 million in cash, which they grab. Naturally, people come looking for the money. If you can explain to me why two undercover officers think it's a good idea to rob a bank, you will have done a better job than 2 Guns' screenplay. Oh, and for some reason, they burn down a diner? I couldn't figure out why—something to do with donuts, I think it was.
Trench and Stigman are in the middle of a bigger conspiracy, of course, and once that's revealed, that doesn't make a lick of sense, either. So it's best to check your brain at the ticket window for 2 Guns, which does have some decent things to offer in the action comedy department. The funny parts are funny, the bang-bang parts are bang-bang, and there's a sweet-ass 1979 Ford Bronco that drives around all fast and stuff. If you're expecting something more, you must have misread the title.