Skinny Girl Bleats 

I'm not conceited or anything, but how could you choose her over me? I know I'm hotter than her! I don't have anything against fat people, but come on! She's not attractive at all! Just the sheer mechanics are mind-boggling. There's nothing about you that's big; she must crush you! Nothing about it makes sense to me. I'd like to be friends, but I can't imagine it, knowing you chose that thing over me. You aren't the person I thought you were. Remember back when we got together all the time? And then after a month it just stopped? What's up with that? And how come you never went down on me? I went down on you twice! That hurts, and I tried to tell you, but that just didn't matter to you. You'd rather go off and be in love with a fat, ugly girl than have sex with me. Whatever, it's your loss.

--Anonymous

Read more I, Anonymous here

To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

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