THE DILEMMA "Why don't you two meatballs just go ahead and bone each other, and let's make this a 45-minute movie."

THERE'S A PRETTY TELLING SCENE in The Dilemma, where car engine makers Nick (Kevin James) and Ronny (Vince Vaughn) are presenting their souped-up engine design to the muckety-mucks at Chrysler in Detroit. During Ronny's slideshow presentation, he shows a picture of a dorky little hybrid car and then calls it "gay," but, you know, not gay gay. How is this "joke" telling, you ask? Well, because the heart of The Dilemma is how gay Ronny is for Nick—gay like "if only I could get rid of this chick, I'd bone your face off."

Yet Ronny's festering gayness is not the dilemma front and center in this Ron Howard-directed comedy. Perennial bachelor Ronny idolizes his BFF Nick's perfect marriage with Geneva (Winona Ryder), even as he's on the fence about asking his own girlfriend Beth (Jennifer Connelly) to marry him. But then Ronny catches Geneva having some afternoon delight with a big hunk of man meat (Channing Tatum), and he's put in the awkward position of having to tell his buddy about the adulterating wifey. At this point Ronny hems and haws, hijinks ensue, he acts like huge ass about everything, and it becomes achingly obvious that the dude doesn't give a shit about his awesome girlfriend or his burgeoning career—he just wants to make Nick happy. See: Gay!

The Dilemma is pretty outlandishly unfunny. The amount of indignation Ronny works himself up over about Geneva's cheatin' is pretty laughable, especially after catching Nick at a happy-ending massage parlor. Until it all clicks into place and you realize: Kevin James is playing straight man (sorry!) against Vince Vaughn's blustering man-love for him. Unfortunately this, too, is not the good gay—it's more of a "really unfunny rom-com" kind of gay.