Jen Corace

I would have to say my favorite band in the world is The Nerd Explosion but I'm pretty sure it's not their real name. That's just what I call them because I can never tell the difference between them and the hundred other nerd bands that perform around town. But that's not to say I don't love them! I do! See, there's this "feeling" that comes over me whenever I see a nerd. Somebody walks in wearing horn-rimmed glasses, a soiled gray T-shirt, and a ridiculous haircut that looks like they fell asleep under a lawn mower, and I get all tingly inside. And it's just like I'm in high school again beating up nerds! Ah, yes good times. Good times.

But anyway, back to The Nerd Explosion. God! I wish I could remember their name! C'mon help me out. You remember their drummer is that Geeky McGeekerson guy who used to play with the Poindexter Pals alongside Simpy McWimperstein who used to be the lead singer in Egghead Brainiac and the Four-Eyed Dorks? And everybody in the band looks EXACTLY THE SAME except for that one depressed, introverted chick who bangs on the keyboards with her hair hanging down in front of her eyes? And you can never understand a single word the singer says, but you're pretty sure whatever it is he's whining about is not important?

Still can't remember, huh? Okay let's focus on what they sound like. They sound like shit. However, what we call "shit," they call "indiepop" or "math rock" or "emo-core" or "twee" or "avant-pop" or "noyz" or "IDM" or "electro-clash" or "emo-hop" or "Casio-core" or "lo-fi" or "lo-emo-electro-pop-noyz-core." And whenever they play it, a bunch of nerds who look EXACTLY LIKE THEM rush to the stage, and stand there like they're listening to David Koresh; with glazed eyes and lightly tapping their fingertips together in front of gaping mouths brimming with drool.

You can't remember their real name, can you? Me neither. But that's hardly the point! 'Cuz wherever The Nerd Explosion plays, I will be there; swimming in a sea of emaciated dorks who don't have the slightest hope of defending themselves against a stiff frog punch to thigh, courtesy of an unreformed high school bully by the name of Wm. Steven Humphrey.

Thank you, Nerd Explosion. It's bands like you that make life worth living for people like me.