MALEFICENT "Hello. I would like to order two burritos with extra fart sauce."

Á LA WICKED, Maleficent tries to do that thing where we learn about a villain and question our perceptions of a popular story. (In this case, Disney's Maleficent riffs on Disney's Sleeping Beauty.) Yeah, okay. Sure. Whatever. But that's not the takeaway.

It's been a long time since I've seen an Angelina Jolie movie. I'm pretty sure she's only played a spy in trench coats and sunglasses for at least 10 years. Boring. Predictable. Everybody gets lame after having kids; how could a sexy millionaire humanitarian be any different? I gave up. And hadn't you?

BUT GET THIS: It's not too late for our beloved St. Angelina! As "Mistress of All Evil" Maleficent, Jolie gives us nothing but the badass, murder-faced, classic Angie we fell in love with years ago. This film has huge battles for good and evil, and it's packed with CGI, but Maleficent works best in its quiet moments—when Angelina's gigantic prosthetic cheekbones fill the screen, she's as scary, vulnerable, and awesome as we remember.

The plot fumbles quite a bit—there's a lot of confused vengeance—but that can't take away from the straight-up fun that Jolie brings. This might be pretty scary for some kiddos, but send them anyway, so long as you're cool with them aspiring become mystical sociopaths with a lot of confidence and gray morals, which, let's be honest, is probably best-case scenario for a lot of them anyway. And if you still think about Girl, Interrupted a lot (who doesn't?), you should go too. Queen Angie lives. Long live the queen.