KALAH ALLEN

After a Sunday dinner at my parents', I was heading home via the #4 TriMet. You got on and sat across from me. Unfortunately for those riders seated nearby, I was fluffin' out some serious funk dust. The casserole, coffee, and wine had caught up with me. My farts were so bad, everyone must have known that my food baby was crowning its head. You didn't seem to mind at all, though, even though most people's eyes would have melted in their heads. You just kept on reading your weekly. After about 20 minutes, my farts totally ceased, but you started up with your own little stench! You must have inhaled or ate my smell because your farts were... mine! How damn rude of you! I almost said something about it, but what could be said for you? You burgled my turd, dude. Uncool.—Anonymous