A LIST OF THINGS you should probably like if you're going to see Your Highness:
• Dungeons & Dragons
• The Lord of the Rings and/or The Hobbit
• Hercules: The Legendary Journeys and/or Xena: Warrior Princess
• van art
• dick jokes
If you're not into that stuff, congrats on how mature you are about penises! Skip over to the reviews of Arthur and Hanna. If you do own a couple 20-sided dice, though—perhaps you keep them secret, keep them safe, in that hollowed-out copy of The Silmarillion where you also keep your weed?—then hey, maybe give Your Highness a shot.
Considering it's written by Danny McBride and Ben Best (two of the guys behind HBO's excellent Eastbound & Down), and that it's directed by David Gordon Green (the formerly arthouse guy who's since helmed Pineapple Express and episodes of Eastbound & Down), Your Highness should be a laugh riot. It's not, but that's not to say it isn't occasionally enjoyable. It's also not to say that you shouldn't totally bring along that copy of The Silmarillion.
McBride plays petulant prince Thadeous, who grumpily lives in the shadow of his heroic brother, Fabious (James Franco). This perhaps explains why Thadeous sneaks off to get high rather than attend Fabious' wedding—a wedding that's interrupted when goofy sorcerer Leezar (Justin Theroux) kidnaps Fabious' bride (Zooey Deschanel). Leezar needs her for a dark ceremony, "the Fuckening," in which he'll have sex with her to make a dragon or something? Whatever: Thadeous joins Fabious on a quest to rescue her, and soon they meet adventurer Isabel (Natalie Portman). They fight stuff, dragons bite people in half, there's a pedophilic wizard, a minotaur gets a boner, and everyone gets to see Natalie Portman in a metal thong. Everybody wins, right?
Sort of. Your Highness is only like an hour and a half long, but sometimes it drags like the ending of Return of the King. Blame a repetitive script, Green's overreliance on intentionally cheesy special effects, and McBride's loutish shtick, which is hilarious in Eastbound & Down but can feel one-note in anything longer. At least when things get boring in D&D, the players can shake things up a bit. Here, there's no such option.