THURSDAY, APRIL 16

8:30 NBC PARKS & RECREATION

Leslie invites a reporter to write a story about her new parks project... and surprise! It isn't what she expected!

9:00 NBC THE OFFICE

Michael is rightly stunned when Dwight declares the new boss his idol.

FRIDAY, APRIL 17

9:00 FOX PRISON BREAK

Season premiere! Look. Who's really being punished here? Let these guys out or cancel them!!

9:00 ABC SUPERNANNY

Parents are terrorized by two kids who are aptly named "the devil children." Maybe they shouldn't have sold their souls?

SATURDAY, APRIL 18

11:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

It's "The Best of Amy Poehler"—a tip o' the hat to the hilarioso star of Parks and Recreation!

SUNDAY, APRIL 19

8:30 FOX SIT DOWN, SHUT UP

Debut! A new animated show about really crappy teachers voiced by Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and more!

10:00 USA IN PLAIN SIGHT

Season premiere! It's the return of this snappy US Marshal show starring the sexy, sexy Mary McCormack.

MONDAY, APRIL 20

8:00 NBC CHUCK

Chuck and Sarah go AWOL to rescue his father... aaaaand they may as well have sex, too, right?

10:00 MTV THE HILLS

Heidi continues to show something akin to "emotion" after catching Spencer flirting with a bar skank.

TUESDAY, APRIL 21

10:00 MTV THE PHONE

Debut! Produced by Justin Timberlake (EEEEE!), contestants run around performing Bourne Identity-style challenges.

10:00 FX RESCUE ME

Franco's convinced that 9/11 was "an inside job" while Tommy tries to convince him he's freaking nuts.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 22

9:00 ABC LOST

Another clip show that hopefully explains what the hell is going on here.

10:00 ABC THE UNUSUALS

The detectives investigate a store that specializes in murder weapons and body-disposal services. WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!?