THURSDAY, JUNE 4
10:00 NBC THE LISTENER
Debut! A telepathic paramedic. Ugh. This is going to be a loooong summer.
10:00 USA ROYAL PAINS
Debut! A disgraced NYC doc gets hired to exclusively treat Hamptons' fanciest fancy-pantsers.
FRIDAY, JUNE 5
10:00 E! THE SOUP
If you haven't visited recently, check in with the hilarious Joel McHale as he skewers the dumbest celebs of the week.
SATURDAY, JUNE 6
8:00 GSN THE GAME SHOW AWARDS
A ceremony honoring the best game shows of all time including The Price is Right. Unnecessary!
8:00 USA CASINO ROYALE—Movie
(2006) Sex pot Daniel Craig blasts out of the gate in his first go around as sociopath/spy James Bond.
SUNDAY, JUNE 7
9:00 A&E GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS
Season premiere! Against his daughter's wishes, Gene throws her a birthday party as big as his tongue.
10:00 BBCA HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE MARIA?
Debut! Actresses compete for the role of Maria in a London production of The Sound of Music, and I know you don't care, but I do.
MONDAY, JUNE 8
9:00 TLC JON & KATE PLUS 8
Chef Emeril Lagasse pays a visit and within 20 minutes blows his brains out. Bam!
10:00 BRAVO KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST
Season premiere! Kathy tries to move up and off the D-list by bribing C-lister Bette Midler.
TUESDAY, JUNE 9
9:00 FOX MENTAL
Jack tries to wake up a catatonic patient (Kill Bill's David Carradine) who's been struck by lightning.
11:30 IFC WRONG DOOR
Debut! A Brit sketch comedy troupe that uses CGI (hopefully to fix their teeth).
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 10
8:00 ABC WIPEOUT
Tonight's well-named obstacles include "Banana Hammocks," and "Gears of Doom... Now with Foam."
10:00 BRAVO TOP CHEF MASTERS
Debut! World-famous chefs compete to see who is the chef-iest chef in all of chef-dom!