THURSDAY, JUNE 25
8:00 ABC SAMANTHA WHO?
Sam dates a rock star (Duran Duran's John Taylor)! EEEEEE! (God, I'm old.)
10:00 SHO PENN & TELLER: BULLSHIT!
The magicians call bullshit on this week's topic: orgasms. Okay, this time they've gone too far.
FRIDAY, JUNE 26
8:00 FOX VIRTUALITY—Movie
(2009) Problems arise when astronauts stupidly use a virtual reality machine for something other than sex.
SATURDAY, JUNE 27
9:00 ANI GROOMER HAS IT
Season finale! In their final challenge the groomers must style dogs who are "extra ass-bitey."
9:00 SCIFI MUTANT CHRONICLES
Ron Perlman stars as a monk who battles a horde of jerky mutants (as if there's any other kind).
SUNDAY, JUNE 28
9:00 ABC IMPACT—Movie
(2009) Part two! The moon still hasn't crashed into the earth yet. JEEZ! Hurry up already!
10:00 HBO HUNG
Debut! A homeless father turns his life around using his greatest asset: a ginormous penis.
MONDAY, JUNE 29
9:00 TLC JON & KATE PLUS 8
The kids get part-time jobs to raise enough money to file for emancipation.
10:00 BRAVO KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST
Kathy tries to "infiltrate the youth market" by palling around with Paris Hilton. Umm... that's not gonna work.
TUESDAY, JUNE 30
9:00 BRAVO NYC PREP
It's like Gossip Girl, except it's "real," and doesn't have Kristen Bell's annoying voiceovers!
9:30 ABC BETTER OFF TED
Linda moves into Ted's office following a wee toxic spill accident.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 1
8:00 ABC WIPEOUT
If President Obama wants to curb rising health insurance costs, he could start by canceling this show.
10:30 COM RENO 911!
Extraterrestrials infiltrate the sheriff's department, leading the officers to wonder, "Should they be included in the Secret Santa gift exchange?"