THURSDAY, JULY 2
9:00 FOX SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?
If you'd like to see pure, unadulterated psychosis in action, look no further than the judges' table.
11:30 CBS LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN
Tonight with Sandra Bullock and PJ Harvey? That's a match made in bizarro heaven.
FRIDAY, JULY 3
8:00 FOX ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER?
Season premiere! My mortal nemesis of a show returns (but at least they have a professional eating champion as a contestant).
8:30 ABC THE GOODE FAMILY
Helen becomes the sensation of the graffiti artist community when Elvis Costello honors her work!
SATURDAY, JULY 4
9:00 NBC MACY'S FOURTH OF JULY FIREWORKS SPECTACULAR
Co-starring Rob Thomas and Jewel? Forget the "spectacular" part.
10:00 CBS BOSTON POPS FIREWORKS SPECTACULAR
Co-starring Craig Ferguson and Neil Diamond? Now that's edging toward "spectacular!"
SUNDAY, JULY 5
8:00 NBC MERLIN
Don't miss this cheese-a-rific re-imagining of The O.C. set in Camelot. Tonight, Lancelot (AKA the "surf nazi") arrives.
MONDAY, JULY 6
8:00 ABC THE BACHELORETTE
Jillian and the guys jet off to Madrid in another attempt to disguise the fact she isn't very attractive.
10:00 BRAVO KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST
Kathy's newest scheme to get on the A-list? Write a tell-all book about Ryan Seacrest! (That ought to do it.)
TUESDAY, JULY 7
8:00 NBC GREAT AMERICAN ROAD TRIP
Debut! Seven families drive across the country, stopping to compete in humorous (read: humiliating) challenges.
9:00 SCIFI WAREHOUSE 13
Debut! A secret government warehouse stores all of America's occult/alien secrets—and a bunch of disgruntled employees.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 8
9:00 VS. TOUR DE FRANCE
Let me summarize it: ride, ride, ride, drink water, ride, ride, ride, pump up tires, ride, ride, ride, repeat.
10:30 COM RENO 911!
Season finale! Williams is forced to go into couples therapy with Wiegel, and may god help us all.
