THURSDAY, JULY 23
8:30 ABC SAMANTHA WHO?
Series finale! The final battle between Sam's good and bad side takes place at (ulp!) Andrea's wedding!
10:00 BRAVO THE FASHION SHOW
Season finale! The final three designers face off to see... wait. This isn't Project Runway, is it? Never mind.
FRIDAY, JULY 24
11:00 COM FUNNY PEOPLE: LIVE
Funny director Judd Apatow (Knocked Up, Freaks and Geeks) hosts this show of funny comedians. So it should be, you know, funny.
SATURDAY, JULY 25
8:00 NBC KINGS
Series finale! Sorry Kings, but things just aren't working out. Hey, it's me... not you.
9:00 SYFY MALIBU SHARK ATTACK—Movie
(2009) A tsunami brings a gaggle of killer goblin sharks to the Malibu shore. Wait... HAUNTED sharks?!
SUNDAY, JULY 26
9:00 NBC THE STORM—Movie
(2009) Treat Williams is a mad scientist who effs up the weather. Luckily James Van Der Beek (from Dawson's Crack) is on hand to save the day!
10:00 FOOD EXTREME CUISINE WITH JEFF CORWIN
Jeff experiments with "extreme" food such as "head tacos." That sounds "extremely" dirty.
MONDAY, JULY 27
8:00 ABC THE BACHELORETTE
Season finale! Jillian is forced to choose between two bachelors. Choose the one who doesn't mind that you're unattractive!
9:00 HBO THE YES MEN FIX THE WORLD
Activists/pranksters "The Yes Men" sneak into corporate board meetings and wreak havoc with hilarious results!
TUESDAY, JULY 28
9:00 FOX MORE TO LOVE
Debut! The plus-sized bachelor gives the bachelorettes their first challenge: a Choco Taco-eating contest.
10:00 FX RESCUE ME
A mob of lesbians "ruins" a party at Mike's bar. In my experience, lesbians rarely ruin anything.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 29
8:00 FOX SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE
The final six perform and try to ignore the fact that these judges are FREAKING INSANE.
10:30 COM MICHAEL AND MICHAEL HAVE ISSUES
The Michaels try to set Maria up on a date, with disastrous (read: STD) results.