THURSDAY, AUGUST 20
9:00 TLC POLICE WOMEN OF BROWARD COUNTY
Andrea pulls over a suspect who claims the wind blew drugs into her bra. Okay, I've never used that one before.
10:00 LIF PROJECT RUNWAY
Season premiere! Project Runway moves to the Lifetime network just in time to be not interesting anymore. (Cue sad trombone sound effect.)
FRIDAY, AUGUST 21
11:35 CBS LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN
Tonight's guest star is the legitimately hilarious Patton Oswalt.
SATURDAY, AUGUST 22
8:30 CMT ALL JACKED UP
Debut! There are only two things you need to know about this show: (1) Street lugeing, and 2) your host, C. Thomas Howell. YESSSSSS!!
9:00 SYFY PHANTOM RACER
(2009) Greg Evigan (B.J. and the Bear) is pursued by a ghost racecar. Once again... YESSSSS!!
SUNDAY, AUGUST 23
8:00 NBC MERLIN
Season finale! Arthur is seriously injured by the Questing Beast. Oh, you adorable nerds.
10:00 AMC MAD MEN
Don's father-in-law stops by for a (surprise!) extremely awkward visit.
MONDAY, AUGUST 24
10:00 E! THE SOUP
In this special edition, the hilarioso Joel McHale counts down the most humiliating reality moments of '09 (so far).
10:30 SHO NURSE JACKIE
Season finale! A movie critic awakes from a coma and is shocked to realize he suddenly loves G.I. Joe.
TUESDAY, AUGUST 25
8:00 FOX HELL'S KITCHEN
In an "identify that ingredient" challenge, Chef Ramsay neglects to add cyanide. BOOO!!
11:30 NBC THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH CONAN O'BRIEN
Conan welcomes director/bloodbath expert Quentin Tarantino.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 26
9:00 ABC CRASH COURSE
Debut! Like Wipeout, except with cars. (Don't forget the gurneys!)
10:30 COM MICHAEL & MICHAEL HAVE ISSUES
Season finale! Michael and Michael are invited on a competitor's show. In the words of Admiral Ackbar, "IT'S A TRAP!!"
