THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 3
8:00 FX SNAKES ON A PLANE—Movie
(2006) The internet sensation of 2006—which now, for some reason, feels like a lifetime ago.
9:00 NBC THE OFFICE
In this repeat of the season finale, Michael runs into his old flame Holly and her new (how dare she?) BOYFRIEND!
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 4
7:00 TOON JUSTICE LEAGUE: THE NEW FRONTIER
A cool re-imagining of the Super Friends set in the swinging '60s!
10:00 E! THE SOUP
The hilarious Joel McHale reacquaints us with the most humiliating celebrity gossip and TV clips of the week!
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 5
9:00 SYFY MERLIN AND THE WAR OF THE DRAGONS—Movie
(2008) Warning to all 7th graders: Just mentioning the title of this movie will get your head shoved in a toilet.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 6
10:00 ABC DEFYING GRAVITY
Goss' plans to televise the space mission are put on hold while the astronauts hallucinate their balls off.
10:00 AMC MAD MEN
His demented father-in-law is really starting to cut into Don's drinking, smoking, and philandering time.
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 7
8:00 BBCA TOP GEAR
Three funny British hosts splooge over the latest and hottest in cars.
9:00 HIST MANSON
A new docudrama based on the Manson Family murders, featuring an interview from a former member.
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8
8:00 CW 90210
Season premiere! The teens hang out in their bikinis at the beach club, where NBC is filming a new episode of To Catch a Predator. Coincidence??
9:00 CW MELROSE PLACE
Debut! Truthfully, I don't care about the return of Dr. Mancini—where's Franken-Kim??
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 9
8:00 CW AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL
Season premiere! Tyra's newest models all have a physical disability (yay!): They're under five-foot-seven (boooo!).
9:00 FOX GLEE
Season premiere! A sexy performance lands the glee club in hot water—but really... how sexy can a nerd singing showtunes be?