THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 17
8:30 NBC PARKS AND RECREATION
Season premiere! Leslie causes controversy when she weds two gay penguins at the zoo.
9:00 NBC THE OFFICE
Season premiere! The Dunder-Mifflin gang spreads malicious (read: hilarious) rumors about the summer interns.
10:00 FX IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA
Season premiere! Frank, Mac, and Dennis make money the old-fashioned way—exploiting home foreclosures.
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 18
10:00 E! TALK SOUP
Joel McHale humiliates a new crop of celebs, immediately followed by a repeat of his new show Community!
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 19
11:00 FOX TALKSHOW WITH SPIKE FERESTEN
Check out this late-night gabfest whose desperation is occasionally hee-larious!
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 20
9:00 HBO CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
Season premiere! Since Larry refuses to be happy for very long, he's already reconsidering his relationship with Loretta.
10:00 AMC MAD MEN
A surprise visitor shows up at Sterling Cooper. (Is it Don's dead brother? His dead father-in-law? It's gotta be a dead somebody!)
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 21
8:00 ABC DANCING WITH THE STARS
Season premiere! This season Cheryl is paired up with disgraced a-hole Republican Tom DeLay! POOR CHERYL! (Hee-hee-hee....)
8:00 NBC HEROES
Season premiere! Freshman Claire gets unwanted attention at college—and no, it's not because of the "kegger incident."
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 22
10:00 ABC THE FORGOTTEN
Debut! Christian Slater sets himself up for failure again with this ridiculous-sounding show about amateur CSI-style sleuths.
10:00 CBS THE GOOD WIFE
Debut! Julianna Margulies (E.R.) sets herself up for failure again with this depressing show about a humiliated single lawyer.
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 23
8:00 NBC MERCY
Debut! A new hospital drama that focuses on nurses who CARE, dammit!! (They also have a lot of sex, too... because they CARE, dammit!!)
10:00 ABC EASTWICK
Debut! A remake of The Witches of Eastwick starring the surgically enhanced Rebecca Romijn.