THURSDAY, DECEMBER 3
10:00 FX IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA
Somehow Dee gets a role in M. Night Shyamalan's newest film—and I bet the surprise twist is that she doesn't.
10:00 MTV JERSEY SHORE
Debut! The eight "guidos" descend on a New Jersey beach, and immediately compare ab size and armpit stains.
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 4
9:00 FOX DOLLHOUSE
In this two-hour episode, Echo and Bennett (Summer Glau) have a surprising (and hopefully sexy) reunion.
9:00 USA MONK
Series finale! Mr. Monk hunts down Trudy's killer in the last episode of this fun series.
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 5
11:00 BIO CELEBRITY GHOST STORIES
Gina Gershon, Potsy from Happy Days, and Ghostbuster Ernie Hudson get ghostbusted.
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 6
8:00 CBS THE AMAZING RACE
Season finale! The winning team lands (and subsequently blows their winnings) in Vegas.
9:00 SYFY ALICE
A two-part retelling of Alice in Wonderland—except this Alice is a master of martial arts! Haaaai-YAH!
MONDAY, DECEMBER 7
8:00 ABC SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN' TO TOWN
The best of the Rankin/Bass creepy wooden puppet specials featuring Mickey Rooney and the Winter Warlock!
10:00 TNT MEN OF A CERTAIN AGE
Debut! The horrible lives of fortysomething men, starring Ray Romano (who apparently no one likes anymore).
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 8
8:00 NBC THE BIGGEST LOSER
Season finale! The finalists return for one more weigh-in to see who wins $250,000 and a doughnut. (Don't eat it! IT'S A TRAP!!)
9:30 SYFY OUTER SPACE ASTRONAUTS
Debut! In this sci-fi sitcom, the military invites newly arrived aliens over for a pizza party that goes horribly wrong.
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 9
9:00 FOX GLEE
Season finale! Quinn's pregnancy threatens the glee-tards' chances at winning sectionals! PANIC!!
10:30 A&E STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN
After arresting a young criminal, Seagal accidentally keeps snapping femurs at a children's cancer ward.