THURSDAY, DECEMBER 17

8:00 NBC SNL PRESENTS: A VERY GILLY CHRISTMAS

Old SNL Xmas skits are paired with new ones starring Kristen Wiig's Gilly (who on average is naughty, not nice).

10:00 MTV JERSEY SHORE

In a very special holiday episode, Pauly and Mikey get drunk, hit on ladies, and get in a bar brawl. Yeah... not so special.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 18

8:00 CBS FROSTY THE SNOWMAN

Snowman puts on hat, comes to life. But what if a bloodthirsty gargoyle was wearing it?

8:00 FOX DOLLHOUSE

Victor's contract expires, and he's released back into the world, where hot doll sex is a little harder to come by.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 19

9:00 NBC WWE TRIBUTE TO THE TROOPS

Wrestlers (fake fighters) entertain soldiers (real fighters). Anybody besides me notice the irony?

11:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

Hosted by the DA-REAMY James Franco!

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 20

8:00 CBS SURVIVOR

Season finale! I swear to god I didn't know this show was still on!

10:00 BIO SHATNER'S RAW NERVE

William Shatner interviews "Weird Al" Yankovic... who won't stop stepping on his raw nerve!

MONDAY, DECEMBER 21

8:00 NBC THE SING-OFF

A capella groups compete to see who is the most glee-tarded!

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 22

8:30 FAM WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY—Movie

(1971) Forget Johnny Depp and get with the creepiest, funniest Willy Wonka ever, Gene Wilder!

10:00 A&E PARANORMAL STATE

The ghost hunters travel to North Carolina to investigate vulgar outbursts from a three-year-old. (Well, she is from North Carolina.)

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 23

8:00 ABC HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS

In the Grinch's defense, those Whoville Whos are super annoying.

10:00 A&E STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN

Steven chases two suspects and is faced with a difficult choice: Whose femur does he snap first?