This Week on Television 

THURSDAY, JANUARY 7

8:00 ANI BEAR WHISPERER

Debut! A wildlife specialist "whispers" to bears; bears respond by "eating" his ass.

10:00 VH1 CELEBRITY REHAB WITH DR. DREW

Season premiere! Dr. Drew welcomes another cast of celeb wastoids including Tom Sizemore, Mackenzie Phillips, and Dennis Rodman!

FRIDAY, JANUARY 8

11:00 COM JOHN OLIVER'S NEW YORK STAND-UP SHOW

The Daily Show's John Oliver hosts this stand-up comedy series, tonight featuring Nick Kroll, Eugene Mirman, and more!

SATURDAY, JANUARY 9

9:00 BBCA DEMONS

Teen demon hunter Luke fights to rescue enslaved children (which has nothing to do with me, btw).

SUNDAY, JANUARY 10

9:00 FOX THE SIMPSONS' 20th ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL

Wait... The Simpsons have been on for 20 YEARS?? (Excuse me, I've apparently gone missing from my rest home.)

9:00 HBO BIG LOVE

Season premiere! Bill prepares to open his new casino while dealing with his three wives. Man, those Mormons keep busy.

9:00 SYFY BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: THE PLAN

It's the entirety of BSG—as seen through the eyes of the Cylons. Unnecessary much?

MONDAY, JANUARY 11

8:00 CBS HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER

The cast celebrates their 100th episode with a musical number about "suits." I don't get it, either.

10:30 VH1 LET'S TALK ABOUT PEP

Debut! Pepa (from Salt-N-Pepa) looks for love with help from three of her sassiest friends! Too... much... sass!

TUESDAY, JANUARY 12

8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL

Season premiere! Auditions begin in Boston with Simon, Randy, that other one, and Ellen.

10:00 SPIKE BLUE MOUNTAIN STATE

The misadventures of a college football team. In this episode, "Craig loses his promise ring in a stripper." Not a typo.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 13

9:15 FOX OUR LITTLE GENIUS

Debut! "Sofia! Sofia is the capital of Bulgaria, you dumb little bastard!!"

10:00 TNT LEVERAGE

Season premiere! The gang goes after a sweatshop that employs kidnapped children. (Again, not involved.)

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