THURSDAY, JULY 26

9:00 SCIFI WHO WANTS TO BE A SUPERHERO?

Season premiere! Dorks dress up as superheroes and compete in challenges in this cheesy, sweet reality show!

10:00 BRAVO WELCOME TO THE PARKER

Debut! Think running a fancy hotel is easy? Of course you don't. Anyway, this show is about that.

FRIDAY, JULY 27

8:00 FOX AUSTIN POWERS IN GOLDMEMBER—Movie

(2002) Austin's dad is kidnapped, which means it's back to 1975 to battle the filthily named Goldmember.

8:00

USA MONK

Germaphobe detective Monk visits a nudist colony to solve a murder while avoiding nude cooties.

SATURDAY, JULY 28

8:00 FOX COPS

Season finale! A coast-to-coast exploration of why most felons are arrested without their shirt on.

SUNDAY, JULY 29

9:00 SPIKE THE KILL POINT

A wealthy businessman takes matters into his own hands when his daughter is taken hostage. (Kind of like Mel Gibson in Ransom, except not so drunk.)

10:00 A&E THE TWO COREYS

Debut! Slobby Corey Haim moves in with neat freak Corey Feldman. Let the washed-up celebrity hijinks ensue!

MONDAY, JULY 30

9:00 FOX HELL'S KITCHEN

The moms of the final three contestants are asked to judge their kids' entrees—blindfolded! ("Oh, mom... how could you?!")

TUESDAY, JULY 31

10:00 BRAVO FLIPPING OUT

Debut! A new reality show about an obsessive-compulsive "house flipper" and his beleaguered employees.

10:00 SPIKE MURDER

Debut! Amateur sleuths are called in to solve actual murders. This must make the grieving families feel so much better.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 1

8:00 MYTV GEORGE MICHAEL IN CONCERT

It might be a good idea if they get someone to drive him to the concert, yes?

10:00 AMC MAD MEN

In this fun series set in the '60s, secretary Peggy is hit on by all the guys in the office (nowadays known as "sexual harassment").