THURSDAY, MAY 25

8:00 FOX SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?

Season Premiere! Teens from across the nation compete to see who has the most ants in their pants.

9:30 NBC THE OFFICE

A hilarious repeat in which Dunder-Mifflin must undergo sexual harassment seminars.

FRIDAY, MAY 26

8:00 ABC FREAKY FRIDAY—Movie

(2003) A mom and a daughter exchange bodies, starring Lindsay Lohan pre-bulimia.

8:00 MTV BLOWIN' UP

Jamie Kennedy wants to become a rap star—so naturally he turns to Bob "Full House" Saget for help.

SATURDAY, MAY 27

8:00 USA THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE

The classic disaster flick, starring Gene Hackman, Shel­ley Winters, and the always beloved Ernest Borgnine.

SUNDAY, MAY 28

10:00 VH1 SUPERGROUP

Ted Nugent, Sebastian Bach, and other hair rockers join together in this reality show to come up with the heaviest heavy metal song... EVER!

MONDAY, MAY 29

9:00 ABC JOEL SIEGEL'S SUMMER FILM PREVIEW

A peek at the summer's hottest movies, from a film critic who would give two thumbs up to syphilis.

10:00 MTV REAL WORLD/ROAD RULES CHALLENGE

Season Premiere! Failed former cast members compete for kegs of beer and sexual favors.

TUESDAY, MAY 30

8:00 NBC LAST COMIC STANDING

Season Premiere! America's most annoying standup comics compete to see who is the least annoying.

10:00 FX RESCUE ME

Season Premiere! Yay! The return of the best drama on TV about post-9/11 fire fighters.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 31

8:00 CBS GAMESHOW MARATHON

Debut! Ricki Lake hosts this competition, which pits wash-up celebs in classic game shows like The Price is Right. Wow. That... sounds... AWFUL.

10:00 MTV THE HILLS

Debut! Emotionally unbalanced Lauren from Laguna Beach gets her own reality show. Somebody better stock up on Xanax.