8:00 FOX SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?
Season Premiere! Teens from across the nation compete to see who has the most ants in their pants.
9:30 NBC THE OFFICE
A hilarious repeat in which Dunder-Mifflin must undergo sexual harassment seminars.
8:00 ABC FREAKY FRIDAY—Movie
(2003) A mom and a daughter exchange bodies, starring Lindsay Lohan pre-bulimia.
8:00 MTV BLOWIN' UP
Jamie Kennedy wants to become a rap star—so naturally he turns to Bob "Full House" Saget for help.
8:00 USA THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE
The classic disaster flick, starring Gene Hackman, Shelley Winters, and the always beloved Ernest Borgnine.
10:00 VH1 SUPERGROUP
Ted Nugent, Sebastian Bach, and other hair rockers join together in this reality show to come up with the heaviest heavy metal song... EVER!
9:00 ABC JOEL SIEGEL'S SUMMER FILM PREVIEW
A peek at the summer's hottest movies, from a film critic who would give two thumbs up to syphilis.
10:00 MTV REAL WORLD/ROAD RULES CHALLENGE
Season Premiere! Failed former cast members compete for kegs of beer and sexual favors.
8:00 NBC LAST COMIC STANDING
Season Premiere! America's most annoying standup comics compete to see who is the least annoying.
10:00 FX RESCUE ME
Season Premiere! Yay! The return of the best drama on TV about post-9/11 fire fighters.
8:00 CBS GAMESHOW MARATHON
Debut! Ricki Lake hosts this competition, which pits wash-up celebs in classic game shows like The Price is Right. Wow. That... sounds... AWFUL.
10:00 MTV THE HILLS
Debut! Emotionally unbalanced Lauren from Laguna Beach gets her own reality show. Somebody better stock up on Xanax.