THURSDAY, JUNE 1

8:00 ABC NATIONAL SPELLING BEE

Adorable nerds from around the country compete to spell "disenstablish...", "desinstab...." Oh, forget it.

8:00 NBC THE OFFICE MINI-MARATHON

Four awesome episodes of this very funny series starring Steve Carrell.

FRIDAY, JUNE 2

8:00 FOX LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER—Movie

(2001)Angelina Jolie stars as the videogame hottie, who must accomplish two things: save the world, and augment her breasts.

SATURDAY, JUNE 3

8:00 SPIKE CARPOCALYPSE

Season Premiere! A surprisingly sweet and fun reality show about actual demolition derby drivers.

8:30 FOX COPS

The cops are called to a fast-food restaurant when a shirtless, inebriated man doesn't get it "his way."

SUNDAY, JUNE 4

9:00 HBO THE SOPRANOS

Season Finale! What?? Already? When's the next season debut—in 2047?

9:00 CBS OCEAN'S ELEVEN—Movie

(2001) George Clooney and crew knock over Vegas in this fun caper flick.

MONDAY, JUNE 5

8:00 NBC DEAL OR NO DEAL

Hosted by Howie Mandel, and this week guest starring Celine Dion? If you want me to kill myself, just say so!

9:30 NBC THE APPRENTICE

Season Finale! Apparently this lame-ass show is having its season finale tonight. Zzzzzzz...

TUESDAY, JUNE 6

9:00 BRAVO KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST

Season Premiere! Gossip-lovin' Kathy Griffin is back to once again reveal why she's the most hated comedian in Hollywood.

10:00 OXY THE JANICE DICKINSON MODELING AGENCY

Debut! America's weirdest model teaches up-and-comers how to break into the business!

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 7

10:30 COM DOG BITES MAN

Debut! An improv group tricks real people into thinking they are an actual investigative news team.

10:30 MTV CHEYENNE

Another reality show about another 16-year-old trying to break into the music business. God, MAKE IT STOP!!