THURSDAY, AUGUST 30
10:00 AMC MAD MEN
Pete makes a desperate grab at Don's job in this awesome series set in 1960s Madison Avenue.
10:00 BRAVO
WELCOME TO THE PARKER
Season finale! Demanding clientele crush the hotel, while the staff tries to hold it together.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 31
11:00 HBO REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER
The best and funniest place on TV to get your weekly dose of Bush bashing.
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 1
9:00 FOX AMERICA'S MOST WANTED
Season finale! It's the 20th season-ending episode. Twenty seasons? Haven't they caught those crooks yet??
9:00 REAL SOLITARY
Contestants are kept in solitary confinement, with no human interaction, until they all go buggy and quit! Nope, no sadism here.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 2
7:00 FOX FALL PREVIEW SPECIAL
The Fox network gives us a sneaky peek at their new fall schedule... which is pretty much round-the-clock episodes of House.
10:00 HBO ENTOURAGE
Season finale! The episode where I hope Vince and the gang die in a plane crash, and Ari gets his own show.
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 3
9:00 VH1 THE PICKUP ARTIST
The king of the douchebags shares more of his tips on how to pick up drunken bar sluts. Tip #1: Wear a fuzzy Jamiroquai hat.
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4
9:00 MYNET
JAIL
Debut! It's what happens after Cops, in which shirtless criminals get a real taste of the slammer.
10:00 BRAVO FLIPPING OUT
Season finale! A real estate speculator (AKA "house flipper") with OCD barely holds onto his sanity while renovating properties.
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5
10:00 ABC NASCAR IN PRIMETIME
In this behind-the-scenes peek at NASCAR, ABC examines how hillbillies are hypnotized by cars racing around a track, and are then persuaded to vote for Bush.
11:00 BRAVO
TIM GUNN'S GUIDE TO STYLE
Debut! Project Runway's fashion guru puts his "Queer Eye" on gals with style problems.