THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 13

9:00 NBC THE OFFICE

Michael chooses his replacement Survivor-style in an office outing to Scranton Lake.

10:00 FX IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA

Season premiere! The gang is back for another season of disgustingly amoral hijinks. RECOMMENDED!

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 14

8:00 CBS CBS SNEAK PEEK

A quick and dirty looky-loo at all the new shows debuting on CBS this season!

9:00 FOX NASHVILLE

Debut! A new reality show about a group of up 'n' comers trying to make it big in Hillbilly, USA!

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 15

9:00 BBCA TORCHWOOD

It's the first day on the job for the alien hunters... and am I crazy, or is Captain Jack a bisexual?

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 16

8:00 FOX EMMY AWARDS

A celebration of all the TV shows Middle America loves, and the rest of us hate.

9:00 ABC ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGANDY—Movie (2004) '70s anchorman (Will Ferrell) poops the bed when a new hot anchorwoman joins the staff.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 17

8:00 FOX PRISON BREAK

Season premiere! Michael must escape a Panamanian jail before they make him participate in an all-prisoner dance routine of "Thriller."

9:00 FOX K-VILLE

Debut! Two buddy cops (who hate each other's guts) crack down on crime in post-Katrina New Orleans.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 18

8:00 CW BEAUTY AND THE GEEK

Season premiere! Brainless but gorgeous gals compete to see who can transform a gang of gangly geeks!

9:00 ABC ELVIS: VIVA LAS VEGAS

Clips of the King performing in Vegas, as well as current music stars playing his hits. Ugh! Let me die on a toilet now!

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 19

8:00 FOX BACK TO YOU

Debut! Kelsey Grammer (Frasier) tries to reclaim his former glory with this sitcom set in a TV station.

8:00 CW AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

Season premiere! Tyra Banks brings the "fierce" with another season of bickering, bubble-headed models.