9:00 NBC THE OFFICE
Dunder Mifflin launches their new website, and Dwight vows to sell more paper than the internet.
10:00 FX IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN
Another episode showcasing this program's sensitivity entitled, "Dee Is Dating a Retarded Person."
10:00 LIF AMERICA'S PSYCHIC
Four clairvoyants compete to see who is America's best. Wait... if they're psychics, shouldn't they already know who wins?
9:00 REAL SEARCH FOR THE NEXT
Debut! Mmmm... there really wasn't any need for the first one, now was there?
11:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT
Get out your denture cream, Grandpa! It's your fave bands from the last century: Bon Jovi and the Foo Fighters!
9:00 VH1 AMERICA'S MOST SMARTEST
The models are pushed to their intellectual limits when asked to name three American presidents.
WE GIRL MEETS COWBOY
Debut! Four lonely girls fight over one smelly cowboy. That sound you hear is feminism rolling over in her grave.
9:30 ABC SAMANTHA WHO?
Debut! Amnesiac Samantha wakes up in a hospital without the slightest notion she used to be a raging beeyotch.
10:30 VH1 GOTTI'S WAY
Debut! Former Def Jam genius Irv Gotti battles his way back to the top of the record industry.
8:00 CW BEAUTY AND THE GEEK
The geeks get a makeover, which means a tub of hair gel and 50 squirts of AXE body spray.
When Sam asks for some time off from reaping souls, he gets sent on another stupid mission. Working for Satan sucks.
ABC PUSHING DAISIES
The gang settles on the best marketing idea yet: pies filled with antidepressants.
NBC BIONIC WOMAN
Jamie discovers the truth about her bionic lifespan, which gives her one more thing to nag about.