9:30 NBC SCRUBS
Season premiere! This hospital-based sitcom is back for its 7th season, proving that mediocrity is always rewarded.
10:30 MTV MAKING MENUDO
Debut! Sorry, Ricky Martin! The Latino boy band is being reformed with all new members, and there's no room for abuelo!
9:00 ABC WOMEN'S MURDER
The gals vow to track down the guy who gave their show THE DUMBEST TITLE OF ALL TIME.
8:00 AMC THE
(1973) A pre-teen screams at mom, vomits pea soup, and masturbates with a cross. Sounds like a job for Dr. Phil.
(2007) A town plans to sacrifice a gang of sexed-up teens to a noggin-free equestrian.
8:00 NBC THE BOURNE
(2004) Matt Damon stars as an ass-kickin' secret agent amnesiac!
COM THE SARAH SILVERMAN
Sarah must figure out a way to pay for her dead mother's broken headstone. I don't want to know.
PBS AMERICAN MASTERS
A fascinating documentary on the life of America's favorite cartoonist, Charles Schulz.
Claire decides to teach the head cheerleader a lesson; a classic plan that never, ever ends well.
9:00 BRAVO QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT
Series finale! This show is still on the air? Yes, it is! But it's your last chance to get queered, so don't miss it!
10:00 FX NIP/TUCK
Season premiere! Christian & Co. move to the plastic surgery capital of the world, Los Angeles!
8:00 ABC IT'S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE
Linus is convinced that a living giant pumpkin will visit him on Halloween—until the meds kick in.
SCIFI GHOST HUNTERS LIVE
Six straight hours of live ghost hunting... or you could go to sleep, which is what I plan on doing.