This Week on Television 

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 7

8:00 FOX 'TIL DEATH

Debut! An old bored couple gives newlyweds marriage tips. Starring that weird huge guy from Everybody Loves Raymond!

8:30 FOX HAPPY HOUR

Debut! A recently jilted and unemployed guy moves in with his wild 'n' CA-RAZY buddy! Hijinks? Here we come!

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 8

8:00 FOX NANNY 911

Season Premiere! When confronted with some nasty kids, Nanny Stella pulls out some Mary Poppins-style whup-ass!

9:00 CBS FASHION ROCKS

A fashion show featuring Christina Aguilera, Kanye West, and pop culture whores the Pussycat Dolls.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 9

8:00 TOON FANTASTIC FOUR

A new Marvel-produced cartoon featuring the classic foursome. (And it better not have a stupid flying robot!)

9:00 SCI SASQUATCH MOUNTAIN

Cons and cops team up to escape the hairy clutches of Sasquatch. (Are you sure that's not just a stinky hippie?)

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 10

8:00 FOX THE SIMPSONS

Season Premiere! In the 18th season(!!) premiere, an ailing Fat Tony makes Homer mob boss!

8:00 ABC PATH TO 9/11

A searing two-part dramatization of "The 9/11 Commission Report." Performed by the hot teens from Disney's High School Musical!

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 11

8:00 NBC DATELINE NBC

A re-creation of Flight 93, whose heroic passengers stopped a terrorist attack. Performed by the hot teens from Disney's High School Musical!

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 12

8:00 ABC DANCING WITH THE STARS

Tucker Carlson and Joey Lawrence perform an interpretive dance paying tribute to the television specials re-creating the worst moments of 9/11.

10:00 ABC MEN IN TREES

Debut! A jilted author moves to Alaska—where she writes a book about hot Alaskan men. Who presumably live in trees?

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 13

8:00 CBS ROCK STAR: SUPERNOVA

Season Finale! Tommy Lee's washed-up rockers pick the poor sucker who will lead their band, and ruin any chance of their career.

10:00 ABC ALL-STAR SALUTE TO JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!

The best moments of Jimmy Kimmel's late-night show—which is a good idea, because I don't know a single person who's ever seen it.

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