THURSDAY, MARCH 27
8:00 CW SMALLVILLE
Season finale! Brainiac returns to eff with Clark's family; Clark decides to eff him right back!
9:00 CW REAPER
Season finale! A jealous spirit wants to kill women who are prettier than she is. (No, it's not Sarah Jessica Parker.)
FRIDAY, MARCH 28
9:30 VH1 FREE RADIO
Season finale! Lance Krall stars as a dumbass radio shock jock in one of the funniest improv shows of the year!
10:00 SCIFI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
Interviews and clips of the first three seasons get you caught up for next week's big season premiere!
SATURDAY, MARCH 29
8:00
CBS ROBOCOP 2—Movie
(1990) Detroit's favorite tin-can cop returns to open up a can of mechanized whup-ass on dirty politicians!
SUNDAY, MARCH 30
8:00
FOX THE SIMPSONS
Homer shares his most precious secret with Bart: his beef jerky manufacturing lab.
10:00
CBS DEXTER
Serial killer Dexter doesn't appreciate it when other murderers cut into his territory. GET IT?!?
MONDAY, MARCH 31
8:00
ABC DANCING WITH THE STARS
Here's a question: Why don't they let Marlee Matlin's interpreter dance instead?
10:00
VH1 STORYTELLERS
The series where recording artists share how they created their songs continues tonight with Snoop Dogg. AWESOME.
TUESDAY, APRIL 1
8:00 CW BEAUTY AND THE GEEK
The beauties must construct science projects. Ooh! I hope they do a "Botox volcano"!
9:00 FOX HELL'S KITCHEN
Season premiere! One of the contestants goes missing on the first day of competition (I'd say the smartest one).
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2
8:00 CW AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL
The models participate in a photo shoot where they lay face down in water. Breathe deeply, girls!
8:00
FOX THE MOMENT OF TRUTH
Season finale! In the final episode, host Mark L. Walberg reveals that lie detectors are bullshit.
