This Week on Television 

THURSDAY, APRIL 10

8:30 NBC 30 ROCK

Return! For some unfathomable reason, an employee doesn't like Jack's new hit reality show, MILF Island.

9:00 NBC THE OFFICE

Return! Panic sweeps Dunder Mifflin when Michael and Jan invite everybody to a dinner party.

FRIDAY, APRIL 11

7:30 SCIFI THE SARAH JANE ADVENTURES

Debut! Dr. Who's nerdy former sidekick teams up with a gaggle of nerds for a new series of nerdish adventures.

10:00 SCIFI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

The different versions of Number Six get in a huge catfight over who gets to wear the red dress.

SATURDAY, APRIL 12

9:00 ANI GROOMER HAS IT

Debut! 12 dog groomers compete (to see who's the most frakking nuts)!

11:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

Ashton Kutcher (who I unsuccessfully try to hate) hosts, along with musical guests Gnarls Barkley!

SUNDAY, APRIL 13

9:00 ABC DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

Return! Susan's young, very attractive cousin reveals more than expected. Finally, some non-cougar nudity!!

10:30 VH1 VIVA HOLLYWOOD

Debut! Contestants vie for a leading role on a Latino telenovela. Muy caliente!

MONDAY, APRIL 14

8:00 FOX BONES

Return! I'm sorry, but I only watch this to see if David Boreanaz turns into a vampire. It's not going to happen, is it?

TUESDAY, APRIL 15

9:00 DSC DEADLIEST CATCH

Season premiere! These highly entertaining fishermen head out once again to catch the crabs. (Probably both kinds.)

9:00 FOX HELL'S KITCHEN

The contestants are instructed to pluck and cook chickens. Cue the banjo music!

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 16

8:00 ABC DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE

Hillary and Obama debate to see who is the better... wait... this just in... Obama has already been declared the winner.

10:00 MTV THE REAL WORLD: HOLLYWOOD

Season premiere! The Real World is celebrating its 20th season... and yes! You are that old.

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