9:00 ABC GREY'S ANATOMY
Return! Meredith and the gang compete in a surgery contest. (Why do I suspect the patients are going to be the losers?)
10:00 ABC LOST
Return! Locke's camp comes under attack. Where is that invisible polar bear when you need him?!
10:00 SCIFI BATTLESTAR
The lower Cylons turn against the upper Cylons. Better hide your can openers!
9:00 ANI GROOMER HAS IT
The groomers must style a pack of bitey, poopy puppies!
11:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
If you missed the bizarre Christopher Walken episode, here's your second chance to catch the weirdness!
8:00 FOX THE SIMPSONS
Bart attempts to save a cow, while his parents try to stop him from getting married. How are these stories related?
9:00 VH1 CELEBRACADABRA
Debut! Washed-up celebs compete to see who can be the best magician? STOP THE MADNESS!
8:00 CW GOSSIP GIRL
Serena's former partner-in-crime Georgina (Buffy's Michelle Trachtenberg) returns to whip up new trouble!
9:00 FOX HOUSE
Return! Dr. House is forced to give his staff performance reviews. "You all SUCK. That was easy."
9:00 CW REAPER
Sam's girlfriend catches him beheading a demon. (That's not slang for masturbation, by the way.)
10:00 FX THE RICHES
Season finale! Dahlia and Wayne see a relationship counselor—giving them one more person to lie to.
8:00 CW AMERICA'S NEXT TOP
The girls learn gladiator-style fighting, which has nothing to do with modeling, but do we care? NO!!!
9:00 CW FARMER WANTS A WIFE
Debut! A farmer gets to choose between 10 women. In other words, it's The Bachelor: Hillbilly Style!