9:00 BRAVO KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE
Season premiere! The comedian returns with another season of making vicious fun of Gwyneth Paltrow.
10:00 CBS SWINGTOWN
Bruce is shocked (and aroused) when his swinging neighbors show up at the Playboy Club.
8:00 MTV F'N MTV PREMIERES
Debut! You're not going to believe this... MTV is actually playing music videos!
10:00 SCIFI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
Season finale! A band of rebel Cylons take President Rosyln hostage! That's it! Bring me my can opener!
8:30 FOX COPS
It's a "Takedowns Special Edition" where drunken, shirtless hillbillies get dogpiled by overweight officers.
9:00 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
Shed a tear with "The Best of Mike Myers" and remember when he was really funny.
10:00 USA IN PLAIN SIGHT
US Marshal Mary protects a bride from the mob (and helps her choose a veil).
10:00 A&E PSYCHIC KIDS
Debut! Actual kids who see actual ghosts—unless these actual kids are actually lying.
10:00 SHOW WEEDS
Season premiere! America's favorite dope-dealing housewife is back... and she's charging how much for a dime bag?!?
9:00 NBC AMERICA'S GOT
Season premiere! Jugglers, contortionists, ventriloquists, and more compete in the Special Olympics of talent shows.
10:00 FX 30 DAYS
An avid hunter spends 30 days with a family of PETA supporters. Awwwwkward!
9:00 CW FARMER WANTS A WIFE
Matt eliminates another potential wife after she refuses to wear a bridle.
9:30 NBC CELEBRITY CIRCUS
When Wee Man gets stepped on by an elephant, it takes nearly an entire episode for anyone to notice.