This Week on Television 

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 16

8:00 CW SMALLVILLE

Clark battles a monster who sucks the bones out of people. They'll figure out a way to make that sexy.

8:30 NBC THE OFFICE

After the Scranton and Stamford offices merge, Pam and Jim are reunited! SOB! This is the happiest day of my life!

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 17

8:30 TOON TONY HAWK IN BOOM BOOM SABOTAGE

A gang of kids rescue skateboarding god Tony Hawk from an evil circus ringmaster. AWESOME!

9:00 SCI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

A pilot captured by the Cylons returns to the Galactica—and no, I don't trust him either.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 18

8:00 NBC DATELINE NBC

Hooray! Another Dateline show devoted to catching internet predators, and... wait... DAD! What are you doing there?!?

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 19

10:00 VH1 CELEBRITY PARANORMAL PROJECT

Comedian(?) Gilbert Gottfried investigates a haunted asylum and annoys the shit out of some spirits.

1:00 am TOON THE VENTURE BROTHERS

Team Venture joins the ghost of Abe Lincoln in order to solve a groovy mystery!

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 20

8:00 ABC PEANUTS DOUBLE FEATURE

It's A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving followed by the ultra-violent grindhouse feature, He's a Bully, Charlie Brown.

10:00 NBC STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP

This abysmally annoying show has been picked up for another season, proving once again there is no God.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 21

8:00 NBC TONY BENNETT: AN AMERICAN CLASSIC

The awesome Tony sings duets with Barbra Streisand, Elton John, Stevie Wonder, and a few other kids under the age of 85.

9:00 CW VERONICA MARS

When a sorority girl is kidnapped, it takes two years for anyone to give a crap.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 22

8:00 NBC MADONNA: THE CONFESSIONS TOUR

This live concert from London will be great—if you don't mind imagining your aunt masturbating.

8:00 CW AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

During a photo shoot, the models are chased around by an angry bull. Another reason why there is a God.

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