THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 5
9:00 NBC THE OFFICE
Michael lectures the other branches on how to succeed. Wow, those guys must really SUCK!
9:30 NBC 30 ROCK
You'll never guess who Liz Lemon's new neighbor is! Mad Men's JON HAMM!! (Who smokes, like, constantly.)
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 6
8:00 ANI JOCKEYS
Debut! Wait a godddamn second... this is about horse jockeys and not... oh, never mind.
10:00 SCIFI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
The Galactica gang organizes a morale-boosting talent show! (I wish I wasn't joking. Cheer up, LOSERS!)
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 7
9:00 SCIFI JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH—Movie
(2008) Greg Evigan (B.J. and the Bear) rescues sexy researchers from underneath the earth!
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8
9:30 MTV COLLEGE HUMOR
Debut! A sketch comedy show based on the office of collegehumor.com—and it actually looks halfway funny!
10:30 MTV HOW'S YOUR NEWS?
Debut! Reporters with disabilities travel the country. (Five bucks says they're better than Fox News!)
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 9
9:00 FOX 24
Evil villain Dubaku has the nerve to threaten OUR first family? Lay a finger on Malia and Sasha and we will DESTROY YOU.
9:00 MTV THE GIRLS OF HEDSOR HALL
Debut! America's naughtiest, boob-flashing girls are sent to a British charm school. This is outsourcing at its worst!!
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 10
8:00 ABC BE MY VALENTINE, CHARLIE BROWN
Charlie Brown is depressed after receiving a restraining order from the little red-haired girl.
10:00 TLC TODDLERS & TIARAS
If you've ever wanted to see a three-year-old get spray tanned, then don't miss this reality show about toddler beauty pageants!
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 11
9:00 ABC LOST
While trying to get the Oceanic Six back to the island, Ben faces a challenge (i.e., busting Hurley's dumb ass out of jail).
10:30 COM IMPORTANT THINGS WITH DEMETRI MARTIN
Debut! The hilarious Daily Show correspondent gets his own stand-up sketch comedy show!