THURSDAY, MARCH 12
9:30 NBC 30 ROCK
When Liz goes to jury duty, the TGS staff disintegrates into crazed anarchy—the bad kind.
10:00 NBC ER
George Clooney returns to the show as Dr. Ross. And OH! How the mighty have fallen!
FRIDAY, MARCH 13
9:00 FOX DOLLHOUSE
Echo infiltrates a deadly cult, but her personality is that of... a blind girl? Why not a deaf, mute, and blind amputee?
10:00 SCIFI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
It's part one of the series finale! (That means these guys have two more chances to stop disappointing me!)
SATURDAY, MARCH 14
9:00 HBO YOU'RE WELCOME, AMERICA: A FINAL NIGHT WITH GEORGE W. BUSH
Will Ferrell stars in his one-man Broadway show about a certain unnamed dumbshit former president.
SUNDAY, MARCH 15
8:00 NBC KINGS
Debut! Deadwood's Ian McShane stars as a modern-day king in this update of the biblical story of David. I give it six episodes.
10:00 VH1 TOUGH LOVE
Debut! A d-bag relationship counselor gives loveless gals tough advice on how to ensnare a man.
MONDAY, MARCH 16
10:00 SCIFI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: THE LAST FRAKKIN' SPECIAL
Okay, I'm going to stop being cynical and watch this all-star salute to what was a very awesome series.
10:00 MTV THE CITY
Season finale! Whitney has a showdown with her Aussie boyfriend who looks just like that guy from the Bee Gees.
TUESDAY, MARCH 17
8:00 CW REAPER
Sock creates a fake employee at work so he can claim a double salary. There's your recession tip o' the day!
9:00 CBS THE MENTALIST
After an explosion, Jane loses his sight. For those keeping score, that's the second spontaneous blindness this week.
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 18
8:00 CW AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL
Miss J teaches the models runway etiquette. Lesson one: no scratching, hair pulling, or throwing of elbows.
9:00 ABC LOST
Kate returns to the island and asks Sawyer, "Mmm... now why exactly are you boning Juliet?"