This Week on TV 


Thursday, March 15

8:00 NBC FRIENDS

Monica gets in a knock-down, drag-out with another bride over a wedding dress!

8:00 WB GILMORE GIRLS

After a fight with Dean, Rory decides to soothe her hurt feelings by slipping her tongue down Tristin's throat.


Friday, March 16

9:00 A&E IT'S BURLESQUE

Dirty comics and pasty-wearing strippers: a historical look at your grandparents' porn.

10:00 MTV THE ANDY DICK SHOW

Andy dresses up as a Hollywood midget wrangler. Because, see... midgets are FUNNY!


Saturday, March 17

8:00 TNT DIRTY DANCING--Movie

(1987) Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Gray star in this entertaining salute to dry-humping.

8:00 USA THE MARY KAY LETOURNEAU STORY--Movie

(2000) The greatest homage to intereducational romance since Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher."


Sunday, March 18

8:00 A&E BIOGRAPHY

A peek behind the scenes of the show responsible for my graduation from high school: Sesame Street!

8:00 NBC FACE/OFF--Movie

(1997) Hilarity and carnage ensue when an FBI agent and a criminal exchange faces and lives.


Monday, March 19

8:30 NBC THE CROCODILE HUNTER

Croc hunter Steve Irwin shows his favorite clips of snakes and alligators eating his ass.

9:00 FOX ALLY McBEAL

Cage and Fish travel to Los Angeles where they are immediately locked up for (surprise!) doing something stupid.


Tuesday, March 20

9:00 FOX MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE

Reese is defeated in wrestling by a GIRL, which means he can pretty much kill himself now.

10:00 TNT FARGO--Movie

(1996) Minnesotan housewife is kidnapped and experiences a rather unfortunate run-in with a wood-chipper.


Wednesday, March 21

9:30 ABC THE JOB

Denis Leary gets the opportunity to tongue-kiss Elizabeth Hurley, which I would also do if I had my own show.

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