Thursday, August 16

8:00 FOX GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS

A man demonstrates his ability to make sandwiches with his feet. YUM!!!!

10:00 NIK DIFF'RENT STROKES

Arnold's girlfriend gives him the heave-ho after meeting the funky, hunky Mr. T!


Friday, August 17

8:00 UPN MANHUNT

Eccentric millionaires hunt contestants with rifles in this subtle and sensitive reality show.

9:00 COM PENN & TELLER

The magicians decide to include audience participation into their show by locking an audience member in a burning box.


Saturday, August 18

8:00 ABC COME ON GET HAPPY--Movie

(1999) A television movie about the Partridge Family, America's favorite single-mother, hippie rock 'n' roll band!

8:00 TNT ROCKY--Movie

(1976) No-name boxer trains for big fight by pounding sides of beef and chasing chickens.


Sunday, August 19

8:00 E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY

Is Alan Thicke really a dick? Find out what really happened behind the scenes of Growing Pains!

9:00 ESPN X-GAMES

DUDE!!! Skateboarding! Moto-X! Reefer! DUDE! X-Games! EXTREME!!!!


Monday, August 20

8:00 DSC STINKERS! TEN SMELLIEST ANIMALS

How come they never do shows like this about celebrities? You know? I betcha Ben Affleck really stinks!

8:00 FOX THE TEEN CHOICE AWARDS

America's teens choose their favorite things in the world, including 'N Sync, Britney Spears, and Ecstasy!


Tuesday, August 21

8:00 VH1 BEHIND THE MUSIC

A profile of our favorite '80s operatic new-waver, Pat Benatar!

9:00 WB DEAD LAST

A shitty rock band finds a magical amulet, and band members discover they're suddenly extremely popular... with DEAD PEOPLE.


Wednesday, August 22

9:30 ABC THE JOB

Pill-poppin' alcoholic detective Denis Leary reconsiders his career choice after being taken hostage in a stinky bathroom.