This Week on TV 


Thursday, December 6

8:00 ABC A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS

Stock up on the Prozac, folks! Here comes the most depressing Christmas special EVER!

9:00 FOX GONORRHEA PENINSULA 2

Hilarity ensues when the heart of tawdry Genevieve is smashed into a billion pieces.

9:00 VH1 KRUSH GROOVE--Movie

(1985) Kurtis Blow and Sheila E. star in this all-star salute to the early stars of rap.


Friday, December 7

8:00 TNT THE MATRIX--Movie

(1999) A movie in which we are asked to believe that Keanu Reeves can believably play a kung-fu-kicking Jesus Christ.

8:00 FOX DARK ANGEL

Max rushes to save a gilled, aquatic human that sounds a hell of a lot like Aqua... no. I'm not going to say it!!


Saturday, December 8

8:00 TBS THE OUTSIDERS--Movie

(1983) Practically every '80s star in existence (except Molly Ringwald) has a role in this hilariously bad Francis Ford Coppola film, in which Pony Boy attempts to remain "golden."

10:00 VH1 THE CHRIS ISAAK SHOW

In an attempt to score as much booty as humanly possible, Chris even agrees to watch Minnie Driver's diarrhetic dog.


Sunday, December 9

9:00 ABC ALIAS

The boss behind the "bad" CIA discovers that Sydney is a mole (the secret-agent kind, not the dark and hairy kind).

9:30 NIK FAMILY TIES

The money-minded Alex gets his shorts shocked off after he is visited by a host of finger-wagging Christmas spirits.


Monday, December 10

9:00 WB ANGEL

When demons come after his son, Angel learns the first lesson of being a father, and yanks off his belt.


Tuesday, December 11

8:00 UPN BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

Whoopee! A classic rerun, in which all the people in town lose their voices and are attacked by really creepy, icky, gross-out guys!


Wednesday, December 12

9:00 WB FELICITY

Felicity is trapped inside a burning art studio, and... c'mon! We're supposed to think this isn't funny??

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