8:00 FOX FAMILY GUY

After Stewie is "discovered," he's sent to a stupid performing arts school... just like the one in Fame! HAW! HAW!

10:00 MTV SEX 2K

Ever wonder about those naughty ads in the back of this paper? Then learn everything you ever wanted to know about escorts in this sexy documentary!

8:00 FOX THE CHAMBER

Contestants are locked in a chamber to see how many questions they can answer with their ass on fire.

8:00 A&E BIOGRAPHY

Featuring America's favorite posterboy for psychosis, Charles Manson!

8:00 UPN THE LOVE BUG--Movie

(1968) Dean Jones is thrilled about taking possession of "The Love Bug"--until he realizes it's herpes.

8:00 E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY

A true behind-the-scenes peek at those crazy, horrible Huxtable kids from The Cosby Show. No, really! They were jerks!

8:00 FOX THE SIMPSONS

Hilarity and eating meals with a straw ensue, when Homer gets his jaw wired shut.

9:00 ABC STEPHEN KING'S ROSE RED--Movie

(2002) A bunch of snoopy psychics break into a haunted mansion and get the poop scared out of them by ghosts.

8:00 VH1 BEHIND THE MUSIC

The rise, predictable fall, and rise of head-banging metal heads Metallica.

8:00 UPN BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

In order to make ends meet, Buffy takes time away from saving the world by getting a job at Jack in the Box.

9:00 WB SMALLVILLE

Clark must stop an invisible enemy, intent on yanking Lex Luthor's underpants up his crack.

8:00 FOX THAT '80s SHOW

The makers of That '70s Show have out-crapped themselves with this newest craptacular crap fest centered around the '80s.