This Week on TV
8:00 CBS SURVIVOR: MARQUESAS
Debut! Christ!! Another new season of Survivor? I thought they were finished boring the shit out of me 'til next year!
8:00 NBC FRIENDS
Joey confronts Rachel about his true feelings (i.e. "happiness" over getting a million bucks per episode).
Friday, March 1
8:30 LIF BROKEDOWN PALACE--Movie
(1999) Claire Danes stars as a teenage drug smuggler who gets tossed in a Thai jail for 33 years! That'll teach her!
9:00 FX SUMMER OF SAM--Movie
(1999) Spike Lee's flick about a Brooklyn neighborhood terrorized by the Son of Sam, who takes his marching orders from a hilarious talking dog!
Saturday, March 2
9:00 WB BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
In this classic episode, Buffy trips when her mom starts dating a creepy robot (John Ritter).
10:30 COM SOUTH PARK
The kids take a serious look at Bush's war efforts with this episode entitled, "Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants."
Sunday, March 3
9:00 ABC ALIAS
Vaughn asks Syd to steal a book from Sloane's house... and "French farce"-style hilarity ensues!
9:00 DSC GUT BUSTERS
Three fatsos train for the "fastest eater in the world" contest.
Monday, March 4
9:00 WB ANGEL
Wesley kidnaps Angel's baby (who is wearing the most adorable black leather jumper).
Tuesday, March 5
8:00 WB BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
On his wedding day, Xander gets cold feet after a mysterious stranger gives him a peek into the future (and as a sidenote: THIS EPISODE BETTER NOT SUCK!!).
9:00 WB AS IF
Debut! Six young adults share life and love in this new dramedy shot in the ever original "reality show" style.
Wednesday, March 6
8:30 FOX GROUNDED FOR LIFE
Lily's parents relive their youth by chaperoning the prom and getting really loaded.
CALLING ALL BUFFY FANS!
Want to enter to win the entire first season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD? Go to
www.portlandmercury.com for details!
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