8:00 MTV SCARED STRAIGHT
A group of smart-mouth teens are given a tour of prison and get a taste of the bitch life.
10:00 ANI AMAZING ANIMAL VIDEOS
This episode features a chimp who knows karate. See? What did I tell you?!? Planet of the Apes is just around the corner!!
Friday, April 12
9:00 TBS TEEN WOLF--Movie
(1985) Michael J. Fox as hormone-driven werewolf who saves the big basketball game and bones the cheerleader.
8:00 MTV THE OSBOURNES
Ozzy becomes the "pot who called the kettle black" when he gives a lecture on drugs to Jack and Kelly.
Saturday, April 13
9:00 AMC THE THING WITH TWO HEADS--Movie
(1972) Insert the penis joke of your preference here.
Sunday, April 14
9:00 ABC ALIAS
Sydney dips her pen in company ink when she takes a ride on the wild baloney pony with her SD-6 recruiter.
10:00 INTL REBORN FROM HELL: SAMURAI ARMAGGEDON--Movie
(1996) Sword-swingin' samurais open up a can of chop-socky whup-ass on evil shambling zombies!
Monday, April 15
9:00 WB ANGEL
Angel swears blood-suckin' revenge when Wesley takes off with his baby!
10:00 ABC ONCE AND AGAIN
Series Finale! After a quick cancellation from the network, Rick and Lilly are forced to tie up loose storylines in an unbelievable and rushed manner.
Tuesday, April 16
9:00 FOX 24
Dennis Hopper co-stars as a criminal mastermind (surprise!) who bears a deadly grudge against Jack.
10:00 FX THE SHIELD
Vic goes unnecessarily psycho (hoo-rah!) after discovering a child prostitution ring.
Wednesday, April 17
8:00 USA ULTIMATE FIGHTS
Finally! A show that gets rid of plot, storyline, and characters and just focuses on the fight scenes!
9:00 ABC THE JOB
McNeil suspects that Frank might be gay in this episode appropriately titled, "Gay."