Thurs, December 510:00 NBC E.R.Dr. Weaver gets her crutch in a knot when the staff refuses to play by her stupid rules.
8:00 A&E JOHNNY CASH: THE MAN IN BLACKInterviews with Tom Petty and daughter Rosanne Cash make up this biography about the toughest dude to ever pick up a gee-tar.
Friday, December 68:00 FX CONTACT--MovieRobert Zemeckis' sci-fi classic featuring alternate realities, time warps, and Matthew McConaughey's cute little butt.
8:30 WB SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCHIs it just me, or is this one "teenage witch" who's pushing 43?
Sat, December 78:00 NBC IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE--MovieWelcome the holidays with the sappiest, clichè-est, most wonderful Christmas movie in the whole world! If you don't like it, you're probably the Devil!
8:30 FOX COPSI have a little advice for all the criminals out there: It's fine if you're shit-faced drunk, but for the love of God, it's DECEMBER! Put on a freaking shirt!
Sun, December 88:00 ABC A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMASThe most pathetic kid in the history of comics gets a valuable lesson on the real meaning of Christmas.
9:00 ABC ALIASSydney's friends begin to suspect she may be leading a double-life when she accidentally wears an electric blue wig home from the office.
Mon, December 910:00 CBS CSI: MIAMICast member Kim Delaney is now in the unemployment line, and I hope this proves once and for all robots cannot take the place of breathing actors.
Tues, December 108:00 UPN BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYERBuffy and the Scoobies are magically turned into sleep-walkers (which could explain why this season has been so crappy).
9:00 WB SMALLVILLE: One of Clark's friends finds the spaceship in a cornfield!
Wed, December 119:00 FOX FASTLANECrockett and Tubbs infiltrate a Miami drug cartel. (Oops! Sorry, that's Miami Vice.)
9:00 DISC JAMES CAMERON'S EXPEDITION: BISMARCKThe biggest prick in Hollywood explores one of Germany's most famous sunken WWII vessels.
Thurs, December 128:30 NBC SCRUBSCox tries to ease Jordan's discomfort with a nice, warm enema.
9:00 NBC WILL & GRACEWill and Jack compete for the lofty title of "Gayest Gay since Gaylord McGayerson moved to Gay Town, U.S.GAY."