Thursday,

January 9

8:00

FOX COPS: TOP 15 MOMENTS OF ALL TIME

Five bucks says that at least 13 of the "moments" will include a drunk guy without his shirt on.

9:00

WB SURREAL LIFE

Debut! A new reality series where washed-up celebrities who become roommates! FeaturingWebster's Emmanuel Lewis, MC Hammer, Corey Feldman, and Motley Crue's Vince Neil!

Friday, January 10

8:00

FOX FASTLANE

Van and Deaqon strip down to their juicy bits to investigate a surfer drug-ring! Duuuuude!

10:00

CBS QUEENS SUPREME

Debut! Sorry, not a new series about a queer drag club! This one is about Oliver Platt as a judge in Queens County, New York. Boooooooooo!

Saturday,

January 11

9:00

E! STAR DATES

Tootie (Facts of Life's Kim Fields) goes for some booty in this celebrity dating show.

10:00

COM SOUTH PARK

Some episodes need no explanation; like this one entitled, "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe."

Sunday,

January 12

9:00

ABC ALIAS

Ariana (Faye Dunaway) goes to extreme measures to investigate Jack. (I think somebody has a crush on somebody else!)

9:00

WB HIGH SCHOOL REUNION

A gang of high school pals reunite on Maui to resolve past issues. Issue #1: Beat up the nerd!

Monday,

January 13

8:00

COM REVENGE OF THE NERDS--Movie

(1984) A nerd getting revenge? I'm sorry... but... the concept is just so laughable!

Tuesday,

January 14

9:00

FOX 24

Nina proves herself to be more slippery than an eel coated in lube when Jack tries to capture her!

10:00

FX THE SHIELD

Mackey finds himself on a journey up poop creek when he comes under investigation from two different sources.

Wednesday,

January 15

9:00

NBC THE WEST WING

C.J. attends her 20th high school reunion and is tempted to do the wild thing with her old flame, Matthew Modine!

9:00

FOX MAN VS. BEAST

Humans and animals face off in a series of events including "Gore the Matador," "Peck Out the Eyes of Your Enemy," and "Hey, Everybody! I've Got a Gun!"