This Week on TV 

Thursday, January 23

8:00 CBS STAR SEARCH

Can someone please tell Arsenio Hall to lose the jherri curl? Thank you.

9:00 WB THE SURREAL LIFE

The celebrity housemates are concerned when they put on a backyard talent show, and nobody wins.

Friday, January 24

8:00 FOX FASTLANE

When Van is taken hostage, he depends on a wet-behind-the-ears rookie to... wait. Can't they do another episode about hot lesbian bank robbers?

9:00 E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY

Get out those hankies; it's the sad-but-true life of Karen Carpenter.

Saturday, January 25

8:00 DSC EXTREME FUNERALS

Whoa! Dude! Some people have funerals that are like really ...like... I don't know... EXTREME!

10:00 WB MAXIMUM EXPOSURE

Whoa! Dude! These guys are like hammering nails with their bare fists and drinking motor oil! That's like... Extreme to the MAXIMUM!

Sunday, January 26

3:00 ABC SUPER BOWL XXXVII

Starring Carlos Santana, Michelle Branch, Beyonce Knowles, The Dixie Chicks, Shania Twain, No Doubt... and I think a couple of teams are gonna play football, too.

7:00 ABC ALIAS

Rutger Hauer (Blade Runner) stars as the new director of SD-6, which means no more gabbing around the water cooler!

Monday, January 27

8:00 ABC VERITAS: THE QUEST

Debut! A father/son team race to uncover the mystery of an ancient civilization who zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

8:00 FOX BRIDEZILLAS

Video of actual brides freaking out before their weddings! (Isn't providing hilarity at the misfortune of others awesome?)

Tuesday, January 28

8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL

As the nationwide auditions continue, Simon attempts to drive the suicide rate up three percentage points.

10:00 FX THE SHIELD

Vic's attempts to make a major drug deal are thwarted by having to do some actual police work.

Wednesday, January 29

9:00 WB ANGELIn order to spur a transformation, the gang must provide Angel with a moment of perfect happiness. (Wow... vampires like blowjobs, too?)

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