This Week on TV 


Thursday, April 17

8:00 CBS SURVIVOR: THE AMAZON
It's time again to milk the advertisers for more money with this clip show highlighting the season's greatest and lamest moments.

9:00 COM SOUTH PARK
"Satan is torn between two lovers/feeling like a fool/loving both of them is breakin' all the rules."


Friday, April 18

8:00 FOX FASTLANE
Van is slipped a deadly mickey, which means he only has 24 hours to bone as many chicks as possible. Yahhhhhh!

9:00 MTV PUNK'D MARATHON
Host Ashton Kutcher makes his celebrity pals look like assholes in this prank show marathon.


Saturday, April 19

9:00 UPN GOODFELLAS--Movie
(1990) Marty Scorsese's hilarious and horrific testament to the decline of the modern Mafia.

10:30 MTV FRATERNITY LIFE
When the brothers discover a pledge has drunk the final beer, they decide to suck it out of his penis.


Sunday, April 20

7:00 ABC THE TEN COMMANDMENTS--Movie
(1956) Excuse me, is there one egg or Marshmallow Peep in this movie? THEN IT SHOULDN'T BE ON EASTER!!

9:00 HBO SIX FEET UNDER
While playing a rousing game of paintball, David's snotty gay pals forget that Keith was a pistol-packin' cop.


Monday, April 21

9:00 FOX MR. PERSONALITY

Debut! A girl must choose between 20 suitors who are hiding their faces. Hosted by... (Ka-BOINNGG!) Monica Lewinsky??


Tuesday, April 22

9:00 WB SMALLVILLE
Clark is in the soup when he beats the ever-lovin' crap out of a college kid who messed with Lana!

9:00 FOX 24
The electrode is on the other testicle when bad guys looking for a computer chip torture Jack.


Wednesday, April 23

9:00 WB ANGEL
After being freed from Jasmine's spell, Angel runs off like a goddam baby to hide in the sewers.

9:00 NBC WEST WING
The staff is in lockdown after a sniper fires on the White House. See what happens when Martin Sheen doesn't keep his mouth shut about the war?

Send your application to become Jesus' publicist to steve@thestranger.com.

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