This Week on TV 

THURSDAY, MARCH 29

9:00 SCIFI REIGN OF THE GARGOYLES—Movie

(2007) Those goddamn goose-stepping Nazi rat bastards have come up with their most fiendish plan yet: American-hating gargoyles!

10:00 NBC THE OFFICE

In my opinion the greatest Office episode of all time, where Michael burns his foot on a George Foreman Grill, and Dwight throws up on his car.

FRIDAY, MARCH 30

7:00 SCIFI HEROES MINI-MARATHON

Catch up on what you've missed with three back-to-back episodes!

8:00 CBS GHOST WHISPERER

(The following is NOT a joke.) When Delia is haunted by "Homer the Ghost Dog," she calls in TV's Dog Whisperer.

SATURDAY, MARCH 31

8:00 FOX COPS

Hilarity ensues when a teenager eats an entire bag of pot.

SUNDAY, APRIL 1

10:00 A&E SONS OF HOLLYWOOD

Debut! The douchebag sons of famous celebrities try to make it without maids and daddy's money.

10:30 COM RENO: 911!

Spring premiere! The sheriff's department gets corporate sponsorship. Ooh! I hope it's Hormel Chili.

MONDAY, APRIL 2

9:00 FOX 24

The vice president gives diplomacy a chance... for, like, two seconds before nuking the Middle East.

10:00 ABC THE BACHELOR: OFFICER & A GENTLEMAN

Season premiere! A Navy officer chooses between 25 women... and... no men? Okay, that's weird.

TUESDAY, APRIL 3

8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL

Poor Tony Bennett drops by to help Sanjaya learn to sing.

10:00 FX THE SHIELD

Season premiere! Everyone's sad over the death of Lem... except for Shane, who blew him up with a grenade!

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 4

8:00 CW AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

The girls attend a swanky party, which means someone's getting knocked into the pool!

10:00 ABC LOST

Sawyer is banished from the tribe for being a jerk (read: too sexy).

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